【无理之人】 翻译：米粒@TLF/豆瓣 weibo@conanemily；喷子@豆瓣 weibo@豆瓣喷子 交流分享 请勿商用 保护版权 人人有责
无理之人
主演：杰米·布莱克利、华金·菲尼克斯、 帕克·波西、艾玛·斯通
编剧、导演：伍迪·艾伦
康德说过，人类理性受困于一些无法摆脱... （见康德《纯粹理性批判》第一版序言） Kant said human reason is troubled by questions that it cannot dismiss,
同时也无法回答的问题 but also cannot answer.
好，那么我们现在谈论的是什么？ Okay, so, what are we talking about here?
道德？选择？ Morality? Choice?
人生的随机性？美学？谋杀？ The randomness of life? Aesthetics? Murder?
我想，埃布从一开始就是疯的 I think Abe was crazy from the beginning.
是因为压力大？还是愤怒？ Was it from stress? Was it anger?
还是说人生在他眼里 就是无止尽的折磨，让他倍感恶心？ Was he disgusted by what he saw as life's never-ending suffering?
或者只是他太无聊了 Or was he simply bored
只因日复一日之存在，实在毫无意义？ by the meaninglessness of day-to-day existence?
他着实有趣，还与众不同 He was so damn interesting. And different.
善于言辞 And a good talker.
且每每能用言语蒙蔽真相 And he could always cloud the issue with words.
从何讲起呢？ Where to begin?
毕竟，存在主义者在触底之前 You know, the existentialists feel nothing happens
向来是感觉无事发生 until you hit absolute rock bottom.
从我去布莱林学院教书开讲吧 Well, let's say that when I went to teach at Braylin College,
情感上来说，那如同置身扎布里斯基角 emotionally, I was at Zabriskie Point.
当然我的名声...或者该说是某一名声 比我先到了 Of course, my reputation, or should I say a reputation, preceded me.
我听说埃布·卢卡斯这个夏天会来教书 I hear Abe Lucas is gonna be joinin' the faculty this summer.
当真？ Really?
那倒能让哲学系硬起来些 That should put some Viagra into the philosophy department.
他真的是个很有趣的人，但看上去很颓废 He's this really interesting guy, but he looks totally wasted.
我其实还挺喜欢这种颓废的样子 I kind of like the burned-out look, though.
天呐，我也是 Oh, my God, me too.
是啊，而且听说他和自己的某些学生搞在过一起 Well, yeah, and he has affairs with some of his students, I heard.
- 是吗？ - 是呢 - Really? - Yeah, like full... Yeah.
埃布·卢卡斯将在夏季学期 Abe Lucas is teaching my Ethical Strategies class
给我上道德策略课 for summer session.
- 你读过他的论文没？ - 嗯 - Have you read any of his papers? - Mmm-hmm.
他的观点很激进，富有原创性 He's very radical. Very original.
你要么爱死他，要么就恨死他 You either love him or hate him, really.
菲·科恩认识他的一个朋友 Faye Cohen knows someone who knows him,
她说，他跟老婆离婚后经历了严重的抑郁 but she says, he had a serious depression when his wife left him.
他老婆和他最好的朋友跑了 The story is, she ran off with his best friend.
真的？ Really?
因为我听说的版本是 'Cause, actually, what I heard through the rumor mill
他是在最好的朋友被杀之后，精神崩溃的 was he had a breakdown when his best friend was killed.
他朋友是电视台的，在伊拉克被斩首了 He was a TV crew guy in Iraq and he got beheaded.
若果真如此，那也太可怕了对吧？ Isn't that gruesome if it's true?
老天爷，未曾谋面我都已经开始嫉妒他了 Jesus, I haven't even met the guy yet, and I'm already jealous.
嫉妒？我喜欢你这样 Jealous? I love that you're jealous.
让我感到受人渴望 That makes me feel desired.
这你不用担心，学校里每个人都对你特渴望 Oh, God, you don't have to worry. Everybody on campus desires you.
- 噢，拜托 - 但拥有你的是我 - Oh, come on. - But I have you.
我不确定了，因为突然想到... I don't know, suddenly the thought of you
你要是被一个特有魅力的教授迷住... coming under the spell of some charismatic professor...
天，这你不用担心，迷住我的是你 Oh, God, you don't have to worry. I'm under your spell.
不错，继续保持 Good. Let's keep it that way.
- 好吗？ - 嗯 - Yeah? - Mmm-hmm.
打扰一下 Excuse me.
你知道杰瑟普大厅在哪吗？ Uh, do you know where Jessup Hall is?
嗯，就是那边那栋红色的楼 Yes, Jessup Hall is that building over there, the red one.
好的，谢谢 Uh-huh, all right. Thank you.
里德博士？ Doctor Reed?
- 噢 - 卢卡斯教授到了 - Oh. - Professor Lucas.
- 卢卡斯教授，欢迎来布莱林学院 - 谢谢 - Professor Lucas, welcome to Braylin. - Thank you.
- 你还好吧？ - 是 - Are you okay? - Yes.
- 你肯定长途跋涉辛苦了 - 嗯，是啊 - I'm sure you've had a long trip. - Mmm-hmm. It was, yeah.
- 那么，请... - 谢谢 - Well, um... - Thank you.
我们的春季学期刚刚结束 We've just concluded our spring semester,
而布莱林的夏季学期通常是很活跃的 and summer's always very active at Braylin.
嗯 Uh-huh.
我们都很高兴你能加入哲学系 We're all very happy to have you here in the philosophy department.
谢谢 Mmm, thank you.
就是这了 This is it.
教职住宿是比较分散的 Now, the faculty housing is pretty much spread out,
但基本上所有的房子 but, you know, everything you can get to.
都是步行即可到学校 It's within walking distance of the campus.
你会很喜欢纽波特的（罗德岛州） And you're really gonna like Newport.
这里很美，但夏天时候会稍微人多些 It's beautiful here, but it gets a little crowded in the summer.
可能会有点烦人 That can be a drag.
房子不大，但很舒服 It's a small house, but it's really comfortable.
这里是客厅，那边有个小厨房 Um, right over here is the living room, and there's a little kitchen that way.
旁边有个小饭厅 And there's a little dining room right next to that.
楼上... Upstairs...
这边 This way.
浴室在右边 Bathroom to the right.
这里就是卧室了，挺小，但很舒服 And this is the bedroom. It's small, but really comfortable.
那边有个办公室 And there's an office over there.
我觉得你肯定会很喜欢哲学系的 I think you'll really love the philosophy department, you know?
它位于校园很漂亮的旧区那里 It's in this old, beautiful part of the campus.
学校还有片儿新区 And there's a more modern wing,
那儿有最先进的设备 供理科... that's got state-of-the-art stuff for science,
...及计算机专业使用，如果你感兴趣的话 and computer technology, if you're into that.
如果你想周边走走， 这里离普罗维登斯（罗德岛首府）只有45分钟车程 Oh, and if you want to go away, we're just 45 minutes from Providence.
谢谢，想喝点吗？ Thank you. Do you want a drink?
噢，不用了 Oh, no! God, no.
六点钟有个小型鸡尾酒会，为你接风 There's a little cocktail reception to welcome you at 6:00.
我很喜欢你那篇关于情境伦理的论文 You know, I have to tell you, I loved your essay on situational ethics.
噢，我很荣幸 Oh, I'm glad you liked it.
这篇论文在奥戴尔大学哲学系引发了不小的争论 It caused a little, uh, static with the philosophy department at Adair.
- 这位是我老公保罗 - 嘿，你好 - This is my husband, Paul. - Hey, how you doin'?
- 这位是埃布·卢卡斯，哲学系的 - 幸会 - This is Abe Lucas, philosophy department. - Good to meet you.
- 嗯 - 这酒怎样？ - Yeah. - How you doin' on that?
我还想再来一杯 I'd like another one, please.
- 这是什么？ - 伏特加马提尼，外加橄榄 - What is it? - Vodka martini, extra olives.
- 你呢？ - 好，我也再来一杯 - Anything for you? - Sure, I'll have another.
- 威士忌？ - 嗯 - Uh, scotch? - Mmm-hmm.
- 好 - 谢谢 - Okay. - Thank you.
我叫丽塔·理查兹，很高兴你来我们学校 I'm Rita Richards. It's so good to have you here.
嘿，如果你觉得无聊了，想打听打听 Hey, if you're ever bored and you want someone to give you
这学校谁在跟谁上床的话 the real lowdown of who's fucking who at this college,
问我就行了 just let me know.
所以，康德认为在一个真正的道德世界中 So, Kant would argue that in a truly moral world,
是绝无谎言容身之处的 there is absolutely no room for lying.
就算是最微小的谎言 And even the smallest lie
也会破坏他那宝贵的“绝对命令” （categorical imperative，康德提出的道德哲学概念） destroys his precious categorical imperative.
所以康德才会说，如果一个杀人犯到了你家 （来自康德《论出于利他动机说谎的假设权利》一文） So, Kant would say, if a killer came to your house,
要杀一个躲在楼上的人，问你这人在哪时 looking to kill the man hiding upstairs and asked where he was,
你必须实话实说 you'd be obliged to tell him.
在他的完美世界里，你是不能撒谎的 In his perfect world, you know, you couldn't lie.
是，我能看出他的逻辑是 Yeah, I can see the logic
如果把门打开了，哪怕仅是一条缝 that if you open the door, even just a crack,
就等于接受了一个允许撒谎的世界 you accept a world where lying is permitted.
嗯 Uh-huh.
那么，你就是说，如果纳粹到了你家 Okay, then, then you'd say if the Nazis came to your house,
你家正躲着安妮·弗兰克和她的家人 （《安妮日记》作者） hiding Anne Frank and her family,
纳粹问你阁楼里有没有人啊，你回答 and asked if anyone was in the attic, you'd say,
“有啊，弗兰克一家在楼上呢” "Ja, the Franks are upstairs."
我表示怀疑 I doubt it.
因为现实生活和... Because there's a difference between
哲学扯淡下的理论世界 a theoretical world of philosophy bullshit,
还是有区别的 and real life, you know?
真实，肮脏又丑陋的生活 Real, nasty, ugly life
充斥着贪婪，仇恨和种族灭绝 that includes greed, and hate, and genocide.
记住，就算你们从我这学不到别的什么 Remember, if you learn nothing else from me,
也该记住，许多哲学就是种言语自慰罢了 you should learn that much of philosophy is verbal masturbation.
- 你跟他说过话没？ - 嗯 - Have you talked to him at all? - Mmm.
我问了他想不想跟我们一起吃饭 You know, I asked him if he wanted to eat with us.
- 我挺喜欢这人，但他在自己的世界里... - 他喜欢一个人吃 - I like the guy, but he's in a world... - He likes to eat alone.
是啊，他活在自己的世界里 Yeah, he's in a world all his own.
我觉得他喜欢有自己的空间 I think he likes to keep to himself a bit.
是啊，大概吧 Uh, yeah, I guess so.
那就随他吧 Yeah, so, let him be. Right?
- 可能要花点时间 - 是啊 - Could take some time. - Right.
好，说到克尔凯郭尔 （丹麦哲学家，存在主义哲学的先驱） Okay, Kierkegaard.
嗯... Um...
在每一天做决定时 You know, when making everyday decisions,
我们有绝对的选择自由 we have absolute freedom of choice.
对吧？你可以什么都不做，或想做什么做什么 All right? You can do nothing, or anything.
这种自由的感觉会让人产生恐惧 And this feeling of freedom creates a sense of dread.
一种眩晕感 A dizzy feeling.
焦虑即为“自由的眩晕” Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom.
学生们很喜欢你 The students love you,
但当然了，一些老师则对你颇多微词 but, of course, you've raised some eyebrows with the faculty.
- 教书过程中你有灰心过吗？ - 没有 - Do you ever get discouraged teaching? - No.
你从不问自己，这一切究竟都为了什么？ You don't ever ask yourself what the hell is it all about?
不 Mmm-mmm.
换个学校，换一群孩子 Another school, another batch of kids.
很乖的孩子 Sweet kids.
普通的孩子 Mmm. Average kids.
都是好孩子，但大多平庸 Nice, but mostly mediocre.
将来成长为世界的主人翁 用他们的无知... They'll grow up to be those people who shape the world with their ignorance
...误传和被动来塑造世界 or misinformation, or passivity.
- 你没事吧？ - 嗯？ - Are you okay? - Hmm?
- 你没事吧？ - 我没事 - Are you okay? - Yeah, yeah.
想进来吗？这是我家 You want to come in? This is where I live.
保罗去阿斯彭（科罗拉多）参加座谈会去了 我可有上好的大麻 Paul's in Aspen at a symposium. I've got great grass.
- 改天吧 - 你确定？ - Some other time. - Are you sure?
嗯 Yeah.
多谢了，回头见 Thanks. Thanks anyway. I'll see you.
明天我们要讨论的是现象学与胡塞尔 Tomorrow we're gonna discuss phenomenology and Husserl.
所以，记得要做阅读预习，好么？ So, be sure you do the reading, you know?
可能会有点复杂 It can get a little complicated.
好吗？ All right?
嗨，你找我？ Hi, you wanted to see me?
是的，你的论文写得很好 Yes, your paper was quite good.
- 真的？ - 是 - Really? - Yes.
我看过太多论文 I read so many papers and,
通常来说学生们都只是复述一下读过的东西 usually the students are merely paraphrasing what they've read,
但你的想法很新鲜，表述也清晰 but I found your thinking fresh and well-presented.
噢，谢谢您，受宠若惊 Oh, thank you. I'm flattered.
我必须承认，你关于随机性和偶然性的看法 对我影响很大 I have to say, I was very influenced by your ideas on randomness and chance.
其实我觉得最令人兴奋的是 Well, the truth is, what I found most exciting
是你对我观点提出的异议 was when you took issue with my ideas.
当你不同意我的看法时 When you disagreed with me,
你的看法有充分的论据，很有原创性 your arguments were well-reasoned and original.
我是不是有点脸红了？ Am I blushing right now?
真是巨大的褒奖，多谢 That's a really big compliment. Thank you.
我的确觉得你书中的有些部分... Um, I did actually find some parts of your book
有点难懂 a little hard to follow though,
如果你能给我稍作解释就太好了 and I would love if you could explain some things to me.
当然，我们能出去聊吗？不然我要窒息而死了 Sure, can we get out of here, though, before I die of suffocation?
你对存在的看法对我来说太灰暗了 I found your view of existence too bleak for me.
好像毫无快乐可以弥补一般 It was like there were no redeeming joys or pleasures.
好吧 Okay.
你是为什么来上哲学课？想从中得到什么？ Why are you taking philosophy? What do you want out of it?
因为如果你只是想思考出 Because if your goal is to try and figure out
这些破事的缘由，那还是算了吧 what all this bullshit's about, forget it.
你写过书，写过论文，有这么多成就 You write books, you write papers. You've done so much.
这么告诉你吧，当我回看当年 那些光说不练的装腔作势 Well, let me tell you, when I look back at all that verbal posturing,
我们那群人曾以为自己会变得出类拔萃 my group thought we were going to be so special.
我参与每一场扯淡的政治示威游行 I marched in every bullshit political demonstration.
我在（苏丹的）达尔富尔呆了六个月， 给挨饿的家庭派发食物 I spent six months in Darfur getting food to starving families,
结果自己得了脑膜炎 I wind up with meningitis.
- 嗯 - 我去过孟加拉国 - Mmm. - I was in Bangladesh.
你想要看到点成效，去拯救世界 Yeah, you know, you want to see a difference, to save the world.
但当看清自己的对手是谁... But when you see what you're up against...
你喜欢陈年纯麦芽威士忌吗？你喝酒吗？ Do you like vintage single malt? You drink?
你是指在这喝？ You mean here?
- 是啊 - 现在吗？ - Yeah. - Right now?
不行，我不能喝 No, no, I couldn't.
从我们初次交谈中，我是不可能认识到 There was no way I could have realized from that first conversation
埃布这个人是有很多问题的 that a lot was very wrong with Abe.
他特别迷人，又很脆弱， 我必须承认，自己当时很喜欢他 He was so damn fascinating and vulnerable, and I must say, I found him attractive.
我想这也让他感觉很自在 I guess it helped that he felt comfortable with me.
我开过出租车 I drove a cab.
在大楼当过勤杂工 I was a handyman in a building.
还当过电梯侍应，但我总是在阅读 I ran an elevator. But I always read.
我一直很喜欢俄国的作家 Always, always loved the Russian writers.
尤其是陀思妥耶夫斯基，他很厉害 Especially Dostoyevsky. Dostoyevsky got it.
他的书我都读过 I've read all of it.
- 真的？ - 嗯 - Really? - Mmm.
我那天跟埃布·卢卡斯聊得挺开心的 Oh, I had a great conversation with Abe Lucas the other day.
是吗 Uh-huh.
他说我的论文很有条理，富有原创性 He said my paper was well-organized and original.
- 好吧 - 是吧？ - All right. - Right?
是，我知道这事儿要怎么发展了 Yeah, I can see where this is goin'.
噢，别说了 Oh, stop it, please.
他很迷人，因为他很聪明，但也受了太多的苦 He's just fascinating because he's brilliant, but he's a sufferer.
完美啊，你总是喜欢那些受过苦的人 Perfect. Great, you always became attracted to the sufferers.
对吧？我们就是这么认识的 Right? That's how we first met.
他是真正受了苦， 罗伊，你当时只是得了带状孢疹 He's a real sufferer, Roy. You had shingles.
他因最好的朋友在伊拉克被杀而受了巨大创伤 He was traumatized when his best friend was killed in Iraq.
- 他朋友是个记者，太可怕了 - 他是被斩首了？ - He was a journalist, just horrifying. - Didn't he get his head cut off?
被斩首？不是，是爆炸 His head cut off? No, no, it was an explosion.
哦 Oh.
人们都怎么添油加醋的啊，不可思议 God, it's amazing how people embellish these stories.
埃布说，戏剧只是人为制造出来的 You know, Abe actually says that people just manufacture drama
这样才能度过本是空虚的人生 so they can get through their lives because they're so empty.
我们能不能不要聊埃布·卢卡斯了？ Can we just change the subject of Abe Lucas, please?
你已经连续夸他有半小时了 You've been, like, singing his praises for half an hour.
行啊，那我夸夸你怎样？ All right, well, then, how about I sing yours?
- 行，好啊 - 怎么样？ - Okay. Yeah, yeah. Good. - How's that?
我喜欢你穿这件毛衣 I love you in that sweater.
你当然喜欢了，是你买的 Of course, you love me in this sweater. You bought it for me.
你穿这蓝色特别好看 Well, you look great in that shade of blue.
真的 You really do.
你知道吗，埃布的母亲是自杀身亡的 You know Abe's mother committed suicide?
又是埃布？ Abe again?
你能想象么？他当时才12岁 I mean, can you imagine? He was 12.
她喝漂白剂死的，太惨了 She drank bleach! It's so sad.
西蒙娜·德·波伏娃很准确地指出过 You know, Simone de Beauvoir pointed out, and quite correctly,
在一个男权社会里 that in a society shaped by men,
女人只作为男人的附属品而存在 women are seen as relative beings existing only in relationship to men.
- 嗯 - 你认同吗？ - Hmm. - You agree with that?
- 我完全同意 - 嗯 - I agree with that completely. - Mmm-hmm.
你肯定听说过关于自己的传言吧 I'm sure you've heard the rumors about you.
说你交往过很多女人 That you've had a lot of experience with women.
你是说睡过吧 You mean slept with.
这让你感觉很满足吗？ You find that fulfilling?
很多女友，很多一夜情？ Many women and one-night stands?
当时的确是 I did at the time.
当时感觉很疯狂 It had a certain frantic quality.
但有一天，它不再令我激动了 One day, it stopped being exciting.
通常能缓解疼痛的... I couldn't find distraction anymore
...性高潮不再对我奏效了 in that usually reliable painkiller, the orgasm.
为什么？ Why not?
我想不起活着的理由了 I couldn't remember the reason for living.
等我想起来以后，它也没有了说服力 And when I did, it wasn't convincing.
听上去挺可怕的 That sounds scary.
用尽消遣之事的确相当可怕 It's very scary when you run out of distractions.
如果那其实并非消遣呢？ Well, what if it wasn't a distraction?
如果你只是决定要一心一意找个伴侣呢？ What if you just decided to commit yourself to one person?
如果我现在遇见了谁， 也过于颓丧而无法珍惜她 If I met someone now, I'm too far gone to appreciate her.
我得去上钢琴课了 I have to go to my piano lesson.
你礼拜五晚上有事吗？ What are you doing on Friday night?
我不知道，怎么了 Oh, I don't know. Why?
我觉得你该来参加个派对 I think you should come to a party.
- 呃... - 真的 - Uh... - I do.
罗伊和我可以带你去，会很... Roy and I will take you. We can go and it'll...
会有音乐，很有意思的 There'll be music and it'll be fun.
会有很多喜欢你的学生在 There's a lot of students that like you.
他们真的很喜欢你的 There really are.
我觉得这比你窝在房间里要好 And I think it's better than just wallowing in your room.
那样可不太健康啊 I don't think that's healthy.
你该考虑考虑的，想来玩吗？ You should think about it. You want to come out?
- 你好 - 嗨 - Yes? - Hi.
抱歉这么突然拜访，不过... I'm sorry for dropping in so suddenly but,
我今天在贩酒店买酒，然后... I was shopping today at the liquor store, and,
看见两瓶很好的纯麦芽苏格兰威士忌 I came across these two very fine bottles of single malt scotch,
我给保罗和自己买了一瓶 and I got one for Paul and myself.
我知道你有多喜欢纯麦芽苏格兰威士忌的 And I know how much you love single malt scotch.
多谢你考虑到我，我该给你多少钱？ Oh, that was very thoughtful of you. How much do I owe you?
噢不用了，我买了送你的 Oh, God, no, I bought it for you.
噢，谢谢 Oh, thank you.
你本可以等见到我再给我的，不必非冒雨跑来 You could have waited to give it to me. You didn't have to come in the rain.
我等不及了，太激动了 I couldn't wait. I was excited over it.
那想和我喝一杯吗？ Will you have one with me?
我以为你永远不会提呢 I thought you'd never ask.
呃... Um... Hmm.
你在忙什么？ What have you been doing?
我在试着完成这本很早就开始写的书 I'm trying to finish this book I started a long time ago.
- 是关于什么的？ - 海德格尔和法西斯主义 - What's it about? - About Heidegger and fascism.
正如这世界所需 Just what the world needs.
再来一本关于海德格尔和法西斯主义的书 Another book about Heidegger and fascism.
写得怎样了？ How's it coming?
没思路，写不出 I'm blocked. I can't write.
为什么？ Why?
我... Oh, I...
我写不出是因为我没法呼吸 I can't write 'cause I can't breathe.
怎样才能让你重新呼吸？ What would get you breathing again?
一种想要呼吸的意愿 I, you know... The will to breathe.
- 嗯 - 灵感 - Hmm. - Inspiration, you know?
你需要个缪斯 You need a muse.
我从未需要过缪斯 I have never needed a muse before.
我希望你不会还没跟我上床 I hope you're not gonna send me back out into the rain
就把我赶出去淋雨 without sleeping with me.
我在试着写作 I'm trying to write.
你没思路 You're blocked.
我会帮你打开思路 I'm going to unblock you.
还是说你迷上了那个成天泡在一起的女学生？ Or are you becoming infatuated with that student you spend so much time with?
新奥尔良被飓风袭击后 When the hurricane hit in New Orleans,
埃布去了那里，待了六个礼拜 Abe went down there and stayed for six weeks.
他说问题完全被掩盖了 He said the problems were completely overwhelming.
政治官僚作风和腐败就是个丑闻 And the political red tape and corruption was just a scandal.
他无法相信眼前的愚蠢和贪婪有多严重 He couldn't believe the amount of stupidity and greed.
当时对乔治·布什来说才是个丑闻 It was a scandal for George Bush.
当时埃布可是亲临现场 Well, Abe was right there in the thick of it,
努力要做些什么 trying to get something accomplished.
而与此同时，他老婆爱上了他最好的朋友 And meanwhile, his wife was falling in love with his best friend.
- 是吗 - 难以置信吧 - Uh-huh. - Can you believe that?
埃布真的很爱他的妻子 Abe really, really loved his wife.
他们是在去马丘比丘看遗迹的旅途上认识的 They met on a trip to Machu Picchu to see the ruins.
他们都试过麦斯卡林（致幻剂） They both experimented with mescaline.
他其实什么毒品都试过，他痛恨毒品 He's actually tried every drug. He hates them.
他有点以自由派的方式来当个极度保守的人 He's very conservative in a kind of liberal way.
- 好像他真的对你敞开了心扉嘛 - 嗯 - It seems like he really opened up to you. - Mmm-hmm.
大家都说他不太容易了解 Everyone says he's not easy to get to know.
我绝对不是这么看的 Well, I definitely have not found that.
嘿，我们能不能不聊埃布·卢卡斯了？ Hey, can we just get off the topic of Abe Lucas?
我必须承认，没先过问我 I mean, I must say, I'm not thrilled
就邀他明晚同去派对 that you invited him out with us tomorrow night
我可不太开心啊 without asking me first.
他需要跟他人多接触啊，罗伊 Well, he needs some human contact, Roy.
不然就只会窝在房间里沉思 Otherwise, he just sits in his room and broods.
是啊，但你也知道我可能会吃醋吧？ Yeah, but you can see why I might be jealous, no?
你这是犯傻了 That's silly.
著名总结陈词 Famous last words.
对不起 I'm sorry.
我知道你肯定很失望 I know it must have been a disappointment, to say the least.
你有试过用壮阳药吗？ Have you tried any of the impotence drugs?
不是生理上的问题 It's not physical.
也绝不是针对你 And don't take it personally.
我已经快一年不能硬起来了 I haven't been able to perform in nearly a year.
你有去看过心理医生吗？ Have you seen a shrink?
我认识一位在这方面很有疗效的 'Cause I know a good one for that problem.
我一直希望性功能能神秘地回来 就像当初失去它时一样 I keep hoping it'll come back as mysteriously as it left.
对不起，我让你失望了 I'm sorry I let you down.
不，我该说对不起，你肯定感觉很糟 No, I'm sorry. I'm sure it's hell for you.
多谢你的威士忌 Thanks for the scotch.
你在这边做什么呢？ What are you doing over here?
你对这种人类短暂徒劳的享乐有何病态的见解吗？ Are you having one of your morbid insights on the transient futility of human joy?
我的脸色有那么严肃吗？ Is my face that grim?
我从没在某人家里见过德库宁的画 I have never seen a de Kooning in a private house.
- 我明白，我父母在拍卖会买的 - 真漂亮 - I know, so my parents got it at auction. - It's gorgeous.
他们刚开始收藏艺术品，买了好多 They're just starting to collect. They're buying so much.
他们上礼拜才在苏富比买了基塔依和沃霍尔的画 They got a Kitaj and a Warhol at Sotheby's, like, last week.
不可能吧！ No way!
是啊我知道 I know, I know.
艾珀尔，说真的，你们就不怕遭抢劫吗？ April, honestly, are you afraid of getting robbed?
不会，这幢房子到处都有警铃 No, I mean the house has alarms, like, all over.
- 给他们看看你爸的藏品 - 不要 - Show them what your father keeps. - No.
- 拜托，给他们看看... - 我不要 - Come on, show them... - I'm not gonna show it to them.
天呐，你每次来我家都这样 Oh, my God. You do this, like, every time you come over here.
好奇怪的 It's so weird.
我们知道了，看画没关系 We get it, the painting is fine, the painting is all right.
对付小偷的 For the burglars.
就是它！ Yes, there it is!
- 来，给我 - 天呐 - Come on, give me it, give! - Oh, my God.
- 上膛了吗？ - 它是我的宝贝 - Is it loaded? - This is my baby.
“我的宝贝”？天呐 My baby? Oh, my God.
不，没上膛的，把子弹拿出来 No, it's not loaded. It's totally... I'm taking the bullets out.
你开过枪吗？ Do you shoot this?
没有，我爸有时候带着去树林里 No, my dad takes it out into the woods sometimes.
他们在那玩俄罗斯轮盘赌 Where they play Russian Roulette.
俄罗斯轮盘赌是什么？ What's Russian Roulette?
- 解释一下吧 - 好吧 - Just explain it. - All right, fine.
好吧，拿一颗子弹 Okay, so, you take a bullet.
把一颗子弹装进枪膛 Take a bullet and you put it in the chamber.
- 不要展示了吧 - 我又不会真的做 - Don't demonstrate it... - Well, I'm not gonna do it!
然后转动枪膛 So, you... Then you spin it around, right?
拿枪指着脑袋 And, um, you hold it up to your head.
- 然后扣动扳机 - 噢 - You squeeze the trigger. - Okay...
你有六分之五的几率安然无恙 And you have five, no, you have five to one odds that nothing will happen.
但如果倒霉的话... But if you're unlucky...
- 那就... - 那太倒霉了 - You're just kind of... - Very unlucky.
为什么？ Why?
他们为什么要这么做？为了钱吗？ And why do they do this, just for money, or what?
不是，赌注比钱可是高多了 No, it's like, it's, the stakes are so much higher than money.
- 这与钱无关 - 那是为了什么？ - It's not about money. - For what? For what end?
扣动扳机的时候会感觉无比刺激... You know, you get like a real high when you pull the trigger and...
丹尼，住手，放下 Danny, stop! Put that away.
给我看看 Here, let me see this.
我不喜欢枪 I don't like guns.
当心点 Just be careful.
埃布，把枪放下 Abe, put the gun down!
天呐！ Oh, my God!
你在做什么呢，埃布？ What the hell are you doing, Abe?
运气在我这边 The odds were in my favor.
你觉得这很好笑吗？ Do you think that's funny?
- 我... - 埃布，把枪放下 - But, I mean... - Abe, put the gun down.
- 值得冒这个险吗？ - 六比一的几率当然不值 - Was it worth the risk? - Well, not at five to one.
现在是一半一半 Here, fifty-fifty odds.
埃布！ Abe!
住手，快住手！ Stop it, stop it!
住手！ Stop!
你想自杀的话，去化学实验室吃氰化物啊 You want to kill yourself, go to the chem lab, swallow cyanide.
别在我们面前做 Don't do it in front of us.
这是一堂课本里学不来的、关于存在的课程 This is an existential lesson better than in the textbooks.
你喝多了 You're drunk.
你完全是喝多了，我们回家去 You're completely drunk. Let's go home.
快走吧，你喝太多了 Come on, you drink too much.
一半一半的几率可比大多数人的人生都要好 Fifty-fifty odds is better than most people get in life.
听说你的哲学教授有酗酒的问题啊 Word around is your philosophy professor's got a bit of an alcohol problem.
天，那只是他的众多问题之一 Oh, boy, that's just one of his problems.
真是太遗憾了，他如此自毁 And, you know, it's really a shame, because he's so self-destructive,
但他真的相当聪明 but he's so brilliant.
我能说说我的看法吗？ But can I tell you what I think?
仅代表我们音乐系 And we're just the music department.
说 Yes.
他的文章写得很好... He writes very well, very...
很生动 Lively.
但这只是形式上的成就 But it's a triumph of style.
内容并不经得起推敲 The substance just doesn't stand up to scrutiny.
他的想法很浪漫化，但有太多缺陷 His ideas are romantic, but so flawed.
我只是希望你不要以错误的方式，对他过分关心了 I just hope you're not starting to care for him too much, in the wrong way.
天呐不会的，我爱罗伊 Oh, God, no. I love Roy.
有一个这么复杂的人当朋友是很有意思的 Although it is interesting to be around someone so complicated.
我很为他担惊受怕，确实 I fear for him, I do. I, you know...
浪漫主义者认为自杀也是浪漫的 Romantics think suicide is romantic.
事实是，当时我的确喜欢埃布 The truth was I was attracted to Abe.
尽管，或者其实是因为，他是个迷失的灵魂 Despite, or was it because, he was a lost soul.
他的痛苦和敏感 There was something about his pain and sensitivity
正好应了我内心对浪漫的幻想 that tapped into my romantic fantasies.
和他一起去博物馆、看电影很令人兴奋 It was exciting going to museums and seeing movies with him.
他真的是个很有自己想法的人 He was truly an original thinker.
问题是，他说自己对生活却毫无热忱 The problem was he had no zest for life,
毫无快乐，毫无活下去的明确原因 这让我产生了警觉 no joy, no clear reason for living, he said, which alarmed me.
我特别想帮他 I wanted so much to help him.
我已经放弃了 I've given up.
都是扯淡 It's all bullshit.
我关于海德格尔的那本破书 You know, my bullshit book on Martin Heidegger
不会对这个世界造成丝毫改变 is not gonna make a scintilla of difference to the world.
你为什么要怎么说？你怎么就知道呢？ Why do you say things like that? How do you know that?
我志在成为一个主动改变世界的人 I set out to be an active world changer
结果成了一个被动百无一用的书生，还连硬都硬不起来 and wound up a passive intellectual who can't fuck.
埃布，可能丽塔·理查兹没法激发你的灵感 Well, Abe, maybe Rita Richards couldn't get your creative juices flowing,
但你觉得我有没有这个可能？ but did you think that maybe I could?
不行，吉儿 Uh-uh, Jill.
别 Don't.
别什么？ Don't what?
别这样 Don't do this.
我们一起相处很久了，埃布 Well, we spend a lot of time together, Abe.
- 你知道，而且我... - 我们是朋友 - You know, and I... - We're friends.
我知道这... I know it's...
好吧，我以为你知道我很在乎你 All right, well, I thought you could tell that I cared about you.
这大家都能看出来吧 I mean, it's pretty obvious to everyone.
包括你男朋友？ Including your boyfriend?
我没有... 我没准备好要一心一意只跟他啊 I don't... I'm not ready to make an exclusive commitment to him.
他... He's...
- 我还有很多问题... - 好吧，吉儿 - I just have a lot of questions and... - All right, Jill.
或许我们共处的时间有点太多了 Maybe we're spending too much time together.
或许我不该霸占你的时间 Maybe I shouldn't monopolize your time.
好吧 Okay.
你怎么心情这么不好？ Why are you in such a bad mood?
罗伊，我没事，行吗？ Roy, I'm fine. All right?
我就不能偶尔心情不好吗？ Can't I just be a little bit edgy every once in a while?
那你有没有考虑过我的提议？ Well, have you thought any more about what I said?
什么？ What?
毕业以后我们去伦敦，一起住 That after graduation, we go to London, we move in together
一起去牛津大学深造 and we do our postgrad work at Oxford, no?
这是大事，我还不清楚 It's a very big idea and I don't know.
我觉得会是很棒的经历 I think it would be a great experience.
吉儿，停一下 Jill, stop, stop.
拜托，你知道我爱你的，怎么回事？ Come on, you know I love you. What's wrong?
我现在不能谈这个，罗伊 I just can't talk about this right now, Roy.
感觉不舒服 I feel very achy.
可能我是生病了吧 Like maybe I'm coming down with something, or...
- 好吧 - 我不知道，可能是流感 - Okay... - I don't know, like a flu or...
好吧 All right.
这里是不是很美？ Isn't it a lovely spot?
我很喜欢这 I love it.
我想独处时就来这 I come here when I want to be alone.
你看着有点不开心啊 You're looking a little glum.
今天下午的事，对不起 I'm sorry about this afternoon.
我以为已经过去一阵子了会好些 I thought maybe some time had passed, you know?
你有吃希爱力吗？（壮阳药） And you took the Cialis?
不情愿但还是吃了 Against my better judgment.
我能跟你坦白一件事吗？ Can I confess something?
当我听说你要来学校时，我在这海边的石头上走 When I heard you were coming here, I'd walk along these rocks,
幻想着和你相遇，然后发生些特别的事 and had fantasies that we'd meet and something special would happen.
如果你过得不开心，为什么不一走了之？ If you're unhappy, why can't you just up and leave?
我... I...
我一个人办不到 I can't do it alone.
办不到 You know, I just can't.
我需要跟别人一起走 I need somebody to leave with.
吉儿对我的评价是对的 Jill had been right in her appraisal of me.
我处在某种崩溃的边缘摇摇欲坠 I was teetering on the brink of some kind of breakdown,
无法应对自己愤怒、挫败、徒劳的情绪 unable to deal with my feelings of anger, frustration, futility.
据说溺水能够免遭痛苦安然上路 They say that drowning is a painless way to go.
绝望正如克尔凯郭尔所言为“致死的疾病” （即1849年著作《The Sickness Unto Death》） Despair is what Kierkegaard called the sickness unto death, Abe.
而你正遭受绝望之苦 And you suffer from despair.
我很清楚克尔凯郭尔的想法 I'm well aware of what Kierkegaard thought.
但他到底仍是个基督徒 那多令人宽慰啊 But he was, in the end, a Christian. How comforting that would be.
那么，你期待自己今晚的钢琴独奏会吗？ So, are you looking forward to your piano recital tonight?
选定要弹巴赫了吗？ Did you settle on the Bach?
- 我们会想出办法的 - 我不知道 - We'll figure this out. - I don't know.
这样是不对的 This is wrong.
你知道隔壁这桌什么情况吗？ Are you aware of what's going on at this table?
什么？ What?
情况一团乱麻 It is a messed-up situation.
而且我的孩子们感觉我回不去了 And my kids feel like I'm not comin' back.
啊，不会回不去的 Aw, that's not true.
我知道不会，但我不知如何是好 I know. I don't know what to do.
我已无计可施了 I'm at my wit's end.
法官是谁？ Who's the judge?
斯潘格勒，托马斯·斯潘格勒 Uh, Spangler. Thomas Spangler.
这家伙怎么最终去了民事法庭？真是... How'd this guy ever wind up in family court? It's just...
都是政治任命 They're political appointees.
有些人还好，但很多人仍是拿钱才办事 Some are okay, but a lot of 'em are just bums who are getting paid off.
这样是不对的 It's not right.
他把孩子判给了弗兰克，弗兰克根本不照顾孩子 He awards the kids to Frank. Frank doesn't even look after them.
- 没错... - 弗兰克甚至都不想要他们 - It's true... - Frank doesn't even want them.
他连自己的孩子都不在乎 He doesn't care about his own kids.
我把孩子们送去他那，孩子们并不想去 I deliver them to him, they don't want to go.
他们哭啊，哭啊... They're crying. They're crying.
可弗兰克呢 What does Frank do?
把他们扔在他上班的地下车库的角落 He sticks 'em in a corner of the garage he works at.
孩子们竟被关在地下坐上一整天 And they sit underground all day.
我是说，应该让他们出去，呼吸新鲜空气啊 I mean, they should be outside, in the fresh air.
如今要把抚养权换给弗兰克？ And now he's gonna switch custody to Frank?
- 以什么理由？ - 没有理由 - On what grounds? - On no grounds.
因为法官和弗兰克的律师走得近 Because he's friendly in some way with Frank's lawyer.
交换抚养权绝对是灾难 Switching custody would be a disaster.
完全没道理 It doesn't make sense.
我找来孩子们的老师和医生 I brought in the kids' teachers, I brought in the kids' doctors.
仍然是没用 It doesn't matter.
你确定法官不会被撤换？ And you're sure he can't be recused?
我们试过了，我律师试过但失败了 We tried. My lawyer tried and failed.
拖下去的法律费用我支付不起 法官他清楚得很 I can't keep payin' all these legal bills and the judge knows it.
所以每次我要求什么 他就说“去提议吧” So, every time I want something, he says, "Make a motion."
于是我们照做，可他还是否决 And we do, but he turns me down.
就这样拖光了我的家底 And it's costin' me everything I got.
- 还要失去我的孩子们 - 啊 - And I'm gonna lose my kids. - Aw.
你确定他和弗兰克的律师走得很近？ And you're sure he's cozy with Frank's lawyer?
天呐，他俩可是相视一笑 Oh, God, they look at each other, they smile.
我真是倒霉，抽到这法官 I got a bad break, drawin' this judge.
实在是不公平 It's just so unfair.
六周后开庭审理 I'm due in court in six weeks.
如果法官不会再次延期的话 If he doesn't postpone it again,
但他肯定会延，因为知道这样对弗兰克有利 which he does, because he knows it helps Frank.
我晚上根本睡不好 I can't get a decent night's sleep.
但愿我能带着孩子搬去欧洲 I wish I could take the kids and move to Europe.
我是说我真的想过要把他们带走出国 I mean, I actually thought of taking them out of the country.
什么，然后一辈子躲起来？ What, and hide for the rest of your life?
那可就成逃犯了 You'd be a fugitive.
我真同情你，卡罗尔，真的 你是个多好的母亲 I feel for you, Carol, I do. And you're such a good mother.
真希望那法官得癌症死掉 I hope the judge gets cancer.
他不会得癌症的 He won't get cancer.
因为许愿才不管用 Because wishing doesn't work.
如果想他死掉，就得有所行动 If you want him dead, you have to make it happen.
但你又不可能做到 But you'd never be able to pull it off,
即使做到了，你也会是头号嫌疑犯 and even if you did, you'd be a prime suspect.
另一方面，我能帮你杀了他，女士 On the other hand, I could kill him for you, lady,
而且没人能想得到是我干的 and no one in the world would dream I did it.
我可以为你除害，结束你的苦难 I could rid you of this roach and end all your suffering.
正是在这一刻，我发觉了人生的意义 It was at this moment that my life came together.
我能为这可怜的女人送上这份大礼 I could perform this blessing for that poor woman
并且没人能把账算到我头上 and no one would ever connect me to it.
我和任何当事人均素不相识 I don't know any of the parties involved,
我毫无动机，而且当我走出这里时 I have no motive, and when I walk out of here,
便再也见不到他们任何一人 I'll never lay eyes on any of these people again.
我唯一需要知道的只是这个名字： All I need to know is the name.
托马斯·斯潘格勒法官 Judge Thomas Spangler.
你没事吧？ Are you okay?
噢天呐，在那我有点眩晕 Wow, God. I got a little dizzy in there.
什么，你在发抖 What, you're shaking.
- 我猜是... - 你还好吧？ - I guess, um... - Are you all right?
焦虑发作或是别的 An anxiety attack or something.
- 我家里有药的 - 好吧 - I have medicine at home. - Okay.
我不知道为何感到如此眩晕 Yeah, I don't know why I feel so dizzy.
关于干掉斯潘格勒法官的 一切想法都令我兴奋不已： Everything about killing Judge Spangler turned me on.
帮助这女人，付诸于行动 The idea of helping this woman, of taking action,
为民除害，正是这种害虫... of ridding the world of the kind of vermin
令世人如同活在地狱一般 that makes the world an extra hell for all of us.
我被实施一桩完美谋杀 这一创意性挑战所吸引 I was intrigued by the creative challenge of bringing off a perfect murder.
风险很高，但这风险令我充满活力 It was a high-stakes risk, but the risk made me feel alive.
- 打扰一下 你刚才棒极了 - 噢，谢谢 - Sorry. Hey, you were great. - Oh, thank you.
- 感谢你能来 - 那是当然 - Thank you for coming. - Yeah, of course.
我一整天都在想咱们偷听到的那女人，你呢？ I've been thinking about that woman that we overheard all day. Have you?
- 是啊，我也是 - 有些人的遭遇真是令人吃惊 - Yeah, me, too, yeah. - It's amazing what happens to some people.
天呐，我绝不怪她要去诅咒那法官 God, I don't blame her for wishing him dead.
要我就咒他发心脏病死掉 I'd be rooting for him to have a heart attack,
听上去确实糟糕 as awful as that sounds.
不，我是说，难道你不觉得有些人... No. I mean, don't you think that there are some people that die
死掉之后... and with their death,
世界立马就能变得更美好吗？ the world becomes a slightly better place instantly?
我觉得问题没那么简单 Mmm, I don't think it's quite as simple as that.
我的意思是这烂法官却可能是个好父亲 I mean, he could be a terrible judge, but a decent loving father.
- 首先，他不是个父亲 - 你怎么知道？ - First off, he's not a father. - How do you know?
我对这事着了迷，忍不住上网查了下他 I was so fascinated, I couldn't help but check him out on my computer.
老天，名字你都还记得？ My God, you remembered his name?
就算他是个居家好男人 Even if he was a good family man,
可就像那些坏事做尽的黑道大哥 that's like those, you know, Mafia bosses who do horrible things,
就因为体贴妻儿 and, what, we're supposed to cut them slack
我们就该放他们一马？ because they're wonderful to their wives and children?
面对此种清晰问题时，你得避免思维过度发散 You have to resist the temptation to overthink a very clear-cut issue.
他是个烂法官，未履行当初的公正誓言 You know, he's a rotten judge, not impartial as he's vowed to be,
只因自己手中有权力，就毁掉了那个女人和她孩子们的一切 crushing a woman and her kids simply because he has the power to do it.
没人能阻止 No one can stop him.
我是说... I mean...
虽然容易引起歧义，但还是要说句不好听的： It's not that ambiguous, even though it's ugly to say it.
这种害虫就该一脚踩死 He's a roach who'd be better stamped out.
曾经的眩晕与焦虑消失不见 The dizziness and anxiety had disappeared,
我完全接受了“选择自由”，更确切说是全身心拥抱 and I accepted completely, in fact, embraced my freedom to choose action.
亢奋不已的我无法入眠 I was too excited to fall asleep.
绞尽脑汁计划着如何干掉斯潘格勒法官 My mind was racing with ideas, plans to kill Judge Spangler.
幸亏与这女人的偶然相遇 Thanks to a serendipitous encounter with an unknown woman,
我的人生突然找到了方向 my life suddenly had a purpose.
当我终于眠去之时，脑海中仍回荡着正义之梦 When I finally did fall asleep, I slept the sleep of the just.
- 早上好 - 早上好 - Morning. - Morning.
噢，我知道要点什么了 Oh, I know what I want.
橙汁，法式吐司，马铃薯饼，双份培根 I want the orange juice, French toast, hash browns and double bacon.
嘿，你平时可只喝黑咖啡呢 Hey, what happened to the usual black coffee?
我实在是饿坏了，没办法啊 Can I help it if I'm famished?
好极了，吐司上加不加肉桂？ Well, bravo. You want cinnamon on the French toast?
- 好，加肉桂 - 好 - Yes, I want cinnamon. - Okay.
- 嗨 - 嗨 - Hi. - Hi!
早上好 Good morning.
哇，你今天一大早就干劲十足啊 Whoa, you're full of energy this morning.
- 是吗 - 是啊 - Yeah. - Yeah.
- 我昨晚做了个重大决定 - 是吗？ - I made a big decision last night. - You did?
是，我要掌控自己的生活 Mmm-hmm. To take control of my own life.
那很好啊 Well, that's good.
什么事情促使你觉醒了？宗教顿悟？ What prompted this reawakening? Did you have a religious epiphany?
我只是决定不再怨天尤人下去 I just decided it's time to stop whining
要把主动权掌握到自己手里，促成些事情 and to take matters into my own hands and make something happen.
那很好啊，因为，实话说 Well, that's good, because, uh, to be honest,
学校里有些人还挺担心你的 some of us here were kind of worried about you.
- 哦 - 你之前看上去很低谷的 - Huh. - You seemed at such a low point.
秘诀是看问题时不要靠太近钻牛角尖 The trick is not to examine things too closely.
不要事无巨细去讨论，而是跟着直觉走 Not to debate every issue, but to go with your gut feeling.
要选择去行动，去做 You know, and choosing action, to do,
而不是止于观察，迷失在传统的陈词滥调里 rather than to observe and get lost in conventional clichés.
我觉得我听懂了，但哲学不是我的强项... I think I follow. Philosophy is not a strong suit, you know, so...
我知道你的强项是... Yeah, I think I know what your strong suit is...
我脑子有点迟钝 噢是吗？ I'm a little slow. Oh, really?
我就知道你会喜欢那个灯塔 I knew you'd love that lighthouse.
那是这世界上我最喜欢的地方之一 It's one of my favorite places in the world.
噢，这里真美 Oh, it's so beautiful here.
我禁不住想起艾米丽·狄金森的那个词... （美国女诗人，现代诗先驱） I can't help thinking of that phrase by Emily Dickinson,
“空气醉人” （出自其诗《I Taste a Liquor Never Brewed》） "Inebriate of air."
呼吸空气已惹人醉 To be drunk on air.
都不必靠纯麦芽威士忌了 Not to have to rely on single malt scotch.
你说过你以前写过诗的 You know, you once said that you used to fool around with poetry.
是啊，后来我一怒之下全毁掉了 Mmm. Yeah, I destroyed all my poems in a fit of rage,
因为我那个幽默又好心的发小 when my funny, sweet friend, this guy I grew up with my whole life,
在伊拉克一脚踩了地雷 stepped on a fucking land mine in Iraq.
天呐 Oh, Jesus.
但如果你喜欢的话，或许我可以为了你重新提笔 But you know, maybe if you like, I could try writing again for you.
我写得不是很好 I mean, I'm not very good,
但我或许会乐意为你再拾起来 but you know, I might enjoy trying again for you.
你知道我爱上你了吧 You know I'm in love with you.
你以为你是 You think you are.
你真正爱上的是 What you are is in love with the romantic concept
和大学教授恋爱的这种浪漫设定 of being in love with your college professor.
和你那个完美男友继续在一起才是正确的选择 The correct road for you is with that terrific guy you're going with.
你真是这么想的？ Is that really what you think?
我会一直做你的朋友 I'll always be your friend.
甚至做你的桂冠诗人 （欧洲中古世纪由皇帝任命的诗人侍从） And even your poet laureate.
刚才太棒了 That was fantastic.
天呐，你早餐都吃了什么？ My God, what have you been eating for breakfast?
啊，功劳不全是我的，你这性感火辣的女士 Aw. I don't deserve all the credit. You are hot stuff, lady.
先前的哲学教授哪去了？ What happened to the philosophy professor?
老天爷，你刚才就像个原始人 Christ, you were like a caveman.
长久以来我又重新感觉到自由 For the first time in so long, I felt free.
一种无限的自由 You know? Just a limitless freedom.
跟我私奔吧 Run away with me.
去哪？塔希提岛？ Where? To Tahiti?
像高更一样？在热带做爱？ Like Gauguin? To make love in the tropics?
我想跟保罗离婚，搬去西班牙 I want to leave Paul and move to Spain.
- 是么？ - 是啊 - Yes? - Yeah.
为什么想去西班牙？ Why Spain?
我一直觉得西班牙很浪漫 I always found Spain to be so romantic.
嗯 Hmm.
- 有件烦心事我得问问你 - 什么？ - Now, I have a bone to pick with you. - Yes?
你有没有和那个女学生吉儿·波拉德上床？ Yeah, have you been sleeping with that student Jill Pollard?
今晚之前我有一年没有跟任何人上过床了 I've been sleeping with no one for a year, till tonight.
我也不是没尝试过，你也知道 Not that I haven't tried, as you sadly know.
- 你和那女学生也试过了？ - 没有 - You tried with the student? - No, never.
我们只是朋友 We're only friends.
因为学校里有些流言蜚语 Well, because there's talk around the school.
只是流言蜚语而已 Mmm, it's just talk.
人们只能八卦来打发时间 People fill their lonely hours with gossip.
你别再想这事儿了 Now put it out of your mind.
我寻回了对生活的热情 My zest for life had returned
促使我重生的力量是我下定决心 and the driving force of this rebirth was my rock-solid determination
要帮助这位两个孩子的母亲 to perform a service for a mother of two
除掉托马斯·奥古斯特·斯潘格勒法官 and rid the world of Judge Thomas Augustus Spangler.
他独居在一条漂亮的街道，距离法院步行可到 He lived alone on a pretty street within walking distance to the courthouse.
每周一次，他会在“亭台俱乐部”和好友们打桥牌 One day a week, he played bridge with his cronies at the Pavilion Club.
他是俱乐部的会员，经常在那吃饭 He was a member and ate there pretty often.
周六早晨他会去利皮特公园慢跑 Saturday mornings, he jogged at Lippitt Park.
作为法官他名望不是很高，被责难过一两次 He was not well-thought of as a judge and had been censured once or twice,
但也从未被降职，因他是个聪明人 but had never been reversed on appeal because he was smart
而且有门路 and also one of the boys.
为什么要学欧陆哲学？ Why continental philosophy?
因为欧陆哲学研究的问题 Because, you know, continental philosophy deals with
比分析哲学更私人、更令人兴奋 problems much more exciting and, and personal than the analytic tradition.
存在主义者试图探寻的 You know, the existentialists were tryin' to find out
不仅是事物的意义，还有事物对自我的意义 not just what does something mean, but what does it mean for me?
我从没想过可以让你来游乐园玩 I never thought I would get you to go to an amusement park.
罗伊今晚在哪？ Where's Roy tonight?
学习 Studying.
我这把年纪仍在继续成熟嘛 Well, I'm mellowing in my old age.
既然来了，我决定去帮你赢个奖品 And now that we're here, I'm determined to win you a prize.
毫无疑问，埃布的态度变得更光明了 There was no question there was something lighter about Abe.
他的精神提起来了 His spirits seemed up,
感觉更专心、乐观、愈加有魅力了 he seemed more focused, more optimistic, more charming.
他说他决定要帮我赢个奖品 He said he was determined to win me a prize.
在发表了一番关于运气和随机性影响的常规演说之后 And after one of his standard lectures on the impact of luck and random chance,
他在头一轮就选中了中奖号码 he managed to pick the winning number on his first spin.
我要跟随自己第一直觉选，17号 I want to go with my first instinct. There's my first hunch, 17.
好的，开始了 Okey-dokey, here we go!
转啊转啊转 Round, and round, and round it goes.
会停在哪呢？没人知道 And where will it stop? Nobody knows.
那么... And...
哇！ Wow!
难以置信 Unbelievable.
- 我赢了 - 太幸运了 - I won. - You're a lucky man.
- 这怎么做到的？ - 运气统治宇宙 - How did you do that? - Luck rules the universe.
你这么想？ Oh, you think so?
更正一下，不是运气，是偶然性 我们都得听凭偶然性的摆布 Correction, not luck, chance. We're all at the mercy of chance.
好了，你想要什么，哪个奖品 All right, what, what do you want? What prize do you want?
- 嗯，好吧... - 随便，想要什么拿什么 - Um, okay... - Anything, anything you want!
噢，呃，那就手电筒吧 Oh, uh, the flashlight, please.
- 手电筒？ - 是啊 - Flashlight? - Yeah.
- 选得好，很实用 - 谢谢 - A nice practical choice. - Thank you.
- 哪有实用 - 这还不实用？ - This isn't practical. - That's not practical?
- 不，多酷啊 - 你看看其他那么多选择 - No, it's cool... - I mean, look at your other options.
而你选了个手电筒？ You're saying that you picked a flashlight?
- 我喜欢这颜色... - 走吧 - I like the color... - Come on.
我不喜欢你说我实用啊 I hate that you think I'm practical.
哇 Whoa!
- 天呐 - 我感觉自己又嗑了麦斯卡林一般 - Oh, God. - I feel like I'm on mescaline again.
天呐，看 God, but, look.
就算照哈哈镜，你也很漂亮 Even in the distorting mirror, you look good.
我希望你没把我看作中产阶级懒人 I hope you don't think I'm some middle-class drone.
我可能会令你吃惊呢 I might surprise you.
是吗？ Yeah?
嘿 Hey.
不行，这不是个好主意 No, it's a bad idea. It's a bad idea.
什么意思？现在说这话有点太晚了吧 What do you mean? I think it's a little late for that.
你有个优秀的男朋友 You have a terrific boyfriend
很显然他为你痴狂，不要... and he's obviously crazy about you and don't...
我知道，我爱罗伊 I know. And I love Roy.
但这不代表我就要对他一心一意，然后放弃... But it doesn't mean I'm ready to commit to him and give up...
听我说，听我说 Listen to me, listen to me.
你不会想跟我这样一个极端主义者扯上关系 You don't want to get involved with an extremist like me.
- 相信我 - 为什么不呢？ - Trust me. - Why not?
我可以跟你一样乐于冒险 I can be just as risk-taking as you.
好吧，刚才我们是一时兴起 All right. We got carried away.
忘了刚才那个吻吧，好吗？ All right, let's just forget the kiss, okay?
如果我忘不掉呢？ What if I can't?
那我就得负起责任，保持大家互不越界 Then I have to be the responsible one and keep things from getting out of hand.
走吧，开心玩吧 Come on, let's have fun.
我很确信埃布对我有感觉 I was sure Abe had feelings for me.
但或许只是他没有像我爱他 But maybe it was just that he wasn't in love with me
那样爱上我 the way I was with him.
我试图说服自己，他没有让事情更进一步 I tried telling myself the reason he wasn't letting anything go too far
是因为师生恋在布莱顿学院 was because a relationship between a professor and a student
是违反校规的 was against Braylin's rules,
但我心底清楚，埃布如此浪漫，不会不肯冒险 but I knew in my heart, Abe was too romantic to shy away from risks.
我能确信的只是，虽然我很在乎罗伊 All I was sure of was that as much as I cared for Roy,
我真的在乎 and I really did,
却完全不可自拔地爱上了埃布·卢卡斯 I was swept off my feet by Abe Lucas.
他越是想阻止事情真正发生 The more he tried not to let anything serious happen,
我越是想如此 the more I wanted something to.
我想得没错，谋杀会是富有创意的举动 I was right in thinking the killing would be an act of creativity.
计划如何除掉斯潘格勒并完美实施 It was artistically challenging to plan how to do away with Spangler
是很有艺术挑战性的 and bring it off perfectly.
权衡所有选择之后，我得出结论 Weighing all the options, I came to the conclusion
唯一实用且... that the only practical way I could do it,
...有望逃脱的方法是毒杀 and hope to get away with it, was to poison him.
出于不在自己电脑上留下痕迹的谨慎 Careful not to leave any record on my computer,
我研究了所有种类的毒药 I researched all the poisons
很显然，氰化物是悬疑小说作家和间谍们 and it was clear why cyanide had become the popular cliché
惯常的俗套做法 of mystery writers and spies.
氰化物速效且无痛 Cyanide would be quick and painless.
虽然氰化物我不可能去合法获取 And while it would be impossible to obtain any legally,
却明白有不用填表便能到手的一招 I knew where I might get some without having to fill out any forms.
这件事步步均有风险，但我必须承认，也很让我来劲 Every stage of the way was a risk and I must admit, exhilarating.
卢卡斯教授 Professor Lucas.
你在这里做什么？ What are you doing here?
- 嗨 - 我是艾珀尔 - Hi. - Yeah, it's April?
- 哦是艾珀尔啊 - 是啊 - April, yeah. - Yeah.
我在为正写的一本书做研究 I'm doing research for a book I'm working on.
挺酷啊 Well, that's cool.
见你戴了橡胶手套我就安心了 Well, I'm glad to see you're wearing rubber gloves
因为这里许多毒药都挺危险的 'cause, you know, a lot of those poisons are actually pretty dangerous.
是，我知道 Yes, I know.
对了，等等，正巧你在 Actually, wait. While I have you here...
我在写一篇关于康德的论文，能请教你吗？ Can I ask you a question on the paper I'm writing on Kant?
当然，我们能边走边聊吗？ Sure, sure, but can we talk as we walk?
论文礼拜五就要交了，可基本来说... Yeah, so, it's due on Friday and basically,
我还是不明白他那些道德律 （康德三大道德律） I just don't understand his moral principles.
我不明白，你最近情绪好敏感 I don't understand. You've been in such a touchy mood.
我没事，只是不想去那演唱会而已 I'm fine, I just don't want to go to the concert.
但我买票的唯一原因 Yeah, but the only reason I got the tickets
是你说你想去啊 is because you said you wanted to go.
对不起，罗伊，我只是变主意了 Well, I'm sorry, Roy. I just had a change of heart.
- 找个朋友一起去吧 - 我会的 - Go with a friend. - Yeah, I will.
但我本来很期待跟你一起去的 But I was looking forward to going with you.
我只是... 不想去了，好吗？ Well, I just... I'm not up to it, all right?
我觉得你因为埃布·卢卡斯这个人而对我失去了兴趣 I think you're losin' interest in me because of Abe Lucas.
天呐，罗伊，这话题我们谈了太多次了 Oh, God, Roy. We've had this conversation so many times.
他只是朋友 He's a friend.
我觉得如果他不只是朋友的话你会更高兴 I think you'd be fine if he was more than a friend.
- 我们能不能不提... - 你也知道，这事儿太明显了 - Can we please not discuss... - But you know it's so obvious.
太明显了 It's obvious.
你知道么？ You know what?
什么事都没发生，是你太偏执了 There's nothing going on. So, you're paranoid.
好吧 Okay. Okay.
那我跟迈克一起去听演唱会了 Well, I'll just go to the concert with Mike.
你们会玩得很开心的，迈克人很好 Oh, you'll have fun. Mike is sweet.
是啊 Yeah.
斯潘格勒法官慢跑的习惯 It was Judge Spangler's jogging routine
启发我找到了办法 that gave me the idea I was looking for.
事情于我变得清晰，的确是有规律可循： That is, once it became clear to me that it was a routine.
他周末去慢跑，买一份晨报 His weekend run, his morning newspaper,
在公园长椅坐下，买一杯鲜榨橙汁 his park bench, his container of fresh-squeezed orange juice.
我对他了解得越多 The more I found out about him,
越确信这个世界若没有他会变得更好 I was convinced the world would be a better place without him.
- 给你，生日快乐 - 谢谢 - Here, happy birthday. - Thank you.
生日快乐！ Happy birthday!
噢，谢谢 Oh, thank you, oh.
吹蜡烛 Blow.
- 耶！ - 成了 - Yay! - All right.
好嘞 Okay.
会是什么呢？ What is this gonna be?
罗伊，正是我想要的那件毛衣 Roy, this is exactly the sweater that I wanted,
我几个月前提过的 but I mentioned it months ago.
- 还以为你忘了，谢谢 - 你穿这件特别好看 - I thought you forgot. Thank you. - You look so pretty in it.
我好喜欢 I love it.
那么，你带她去哪过生日？ So, where are you taking her for her birthday?
我们去“殖民地剧院”看出新喜剧 We are going to the Colonial to see a new comedy over there.
那我得去收拾下了 You know, I should actually get my things.
好 Okay.
- 是那出政治讽刺剧 - 正是 - The political satire. - Yeah.
我听说很棒 I heard that was very good.
- 我们也该去看的 - 是啊，应该去的 - We should go see that. - Yeah, it's supposed to be great.
我爸妈和罗伊给了我生日蛋糕 My parents and Roy gave me a birthday cake
和一些礼物，全贴心得很 and some presents, and they were all very sweet.
但我必须承认... But I must admit...
没收到埃布·卢卡斯的生日祝福让我很受伤 I was hurt there was no acknowledgment from Abe Lucas.
我出了公园，没人发现我 I got out of the park and no one saw me.
我并未亲眼看到斯潘格勒喝下那果汁 I never saw Spangler drink the juice.
当我试图集中精力在教师周会上时 And while I tried to stay focused at our weekend faculty meeting,
思绪却飘到了千里之外 my mind was a million miles away.
今日一位慢跑者于利皮特公园被发现 The body of the jogger who died of an apparent heart attack
心脏病突发而死 in Lippitt Park today
其身份已被确认，为托马斯·斯潘格勒法官 was identified as Judge Thomas Spangler,
就职于罗得岛州法院司职家庭法 a Rhode Island state judge in domestic court.
其同事表示颇为吃惊 The news took colleagues by surprise,
因其身体一向健康 as the judge was said to have been in good health,
且定期锻炼 and exercised regularly.
斯潘格勒法官享年61岁 Judge Spangler was 61.
次日清晨，我冲出家门去找报纸 Next morning, I rushed out to get the papers.
结果赫然在目 And there it was.
无比的成就感涌上心头 A great feeling of accomplishment came over me.
我没写什么刻薄文章来详尽论述司法滥用 I didn't write a vitriolic, well-reasoned piece about judicial abuse
那连篇废话到头来 that would wind up just so much verbiage,
毫无用处 accomplishing nothing.
我直接采取了行动，除掉社会毒瘤 I took direct action and eliminated a cancer.
好歹为这世界增添了一丁点儿美好 The world was a finer place by some infinitesimal percentage.
那女士永远不会知道恩人的存在 The woman would never know she had a benefactor,
但如今她的庭审 but now, at her court hearing,
有机会得到个公正的待遇 there was every chance she'd have a fair shot.
是啊，我当然读到了 真是最不可思议的事情 Yeah, of course, I read it. It's just the most amazing thing.
惊着我了 I'm stunned.
什么？别别，咱没什么可内疚的 What? No, no. We have nothing to feel guilty about.
我是说，他本就是个烂人 I mean, he was terrible.
听着，你待会什么安排？有空吗？ Hey, listen, what are you doin' later? Are you free?
因为我觉着该共进晚餐，就咱俩 'Cause I think we should have dinner. Just the two of us.
是啊，来个邪恶的庆祝会 Yeah, we'll have a wicked celebration.
7点半？好，没问题 7:30? All right, perfect.
- 谢谢 - 不客气 - Thank you. - You're welcome.
我喜欢你为我点的 I love that you order for me.
- 干杯 - 干杯 - Cheers. - Cheers.
天呐，知道吗，今晚我感觉棒极了 God, I, you know, I feel great tonight.
心旷神怡 Relaxed and happy.
那么，不该是个庆祝会吗？ Well, it, it's supposed to be a celebration, right?
虽然我觉得提议庆祝某人之死有点小可怕 Although I think it is a little macabre to suggest celebrating someone's death.
生活多讽刺，不是吗？ You know, life's ironic, isn't it?
头一天她还被无力解决的复杂问题搞得一团糟 One day a person has a morass of complicated, unsolvable problems,
世界一片漆黑，烦恼铺天盖地 you know, the world seems black, and her troubles seem overwhelming,
然后一转眼功夫，拨云见日 and then, in the batting of an eye, the dark clouds part
她又能过起像样的生活 and she can enjoy a decent life again.
- 真是令人震惊 - 嗯 - It's just, it's astounding. - Hmm.
有时候，区区一件小事 Sometimes, just a little thing.
比如心脏病突发 Like a sudden heart attack.
- 或者，中彩票啊 - 是啊 - Or, you know, hitting the lottery. - Right, hmm.
实际上我是三天内经历第二次庆祝了 I'm actually celebrating for the second time in three days.
第二次？ Second time?
我的生日是前天 My birthday was the day before yesterday.
嗯 Mmm.
我知道 No, I know.
我清楚你知道，我确信让你能知道的 I knew that you knew. I made sure that you knew.
你没打电话来祝福让我有点失落 I was actually a little upset that you didn't call to wish me a happy birthday.
吉儿你知道，我想要打的 Aw, Jill. You know, I wanted to.
礼物都准备好了，但我转念一想... I even got you a present and then I thought, you know,
我不想让你误会 I don't want you to get the wrong idea.
误会什么，误会你喜欢我？ What wrong idea, that you like me?
你知道我喜欢你的，只是... Well, you know that I like you. I just...
不想让你抱有幻想 I don't want you to have fantasies.
为什么不呢？ Why not?
因为你能找到更好的 Because you can do better than me.
噢天呐，果真吗埃布？ 你不觉得该由我来定吗？ Oh, God. Really, Abe? Don't you think I can decide that?
好了，给你 All right. Here.
生日快乐 Happy birthday.
噢天呐 Oh, my God.
礼物是这个？ Is this my present?
拜托，不算什么 Yeah, come on, it's nothing.
相当算的，埃布！美极了！ It's not nothing, Abe! This is beautiful.
这可是埃德娜·圣文森特·米莱的诗集 And it's Edna St. Vincent Millay.
你真的是个浪漫的人，对吧？ You really are a romantic, aren't you?
那些我认为你会最爱的诗目我做了标记，你会看到 I marked off the poems I thought you'd like most, you'll see.
嗯 Mmm.
就我所读过的，绝对都是挚爱 Well, what I know of hers, I absolutely love.
我这是在干吗，在烛光下与你相视对坐？ What am I doin' sittin' here opposite you over candlelight?
我可说过不会让这事发生的 I said I wouldn't let this happen.
但已经发生了 But it has happened.
拜托，我们不是在庆祝吗？ Hey, come on. We're celebrating, right?
这是美好的一天 It's been a pretty good day.
你刚过完生日 You had a birthday.
我不想在这吃晚餐，我想去你那里 I don't wanna eat, I wanna go to your place.
吉儿 Jill.
我想去 I want to.
- 不行 - 行的 - No. - Yes.
我可是过生日 It's my birthday.
我发誓不让这发生的，但不知又着了什么魔 I swore I wouldn't, but I don't know what's come over me.
你着的魔便是终于开始欢庆人生... What's come over you is that you're finally celebrating life...
而非用疯狂的俄罗斯轮盘赌去追求传奇化的死亡 Instead of romanticizing death with your crazy Russian Roulette.
你有男友了，我不会妨碍你们的 You have a boyfriend. I'm not going to get in the way of that.
我俩并非一心一意，我告诉过你的 Roy and I aren't exclusive, I told you that.
我不信你 I don't believe you.
罗伊肯定不这么说 Roy would say different.
我不想谈这个 I don't wanna talk about it.
我喜欢和你上床 I loved making love with you.
嗯，我也很喜欢 Yes, it was very nice for me, too.
噢，只是很喜欢吗？ Oh, it was just very nice?
感觉像完成了值得做的事 I feel like I've accomplished something worthwhile.
像是人生有了意义 Like my life has meaning.
你觉得和我上床给了你人生意义 Well, I'm very flattered that you think making love to me
真是让我受宠若惊 has given your life meaning.
我的写作开始有进展，文思如泉涌一般 My writing was flowing, the creative juices unblocked.
我很开心并享受这种幸福感 I was happy and enjoying a sense of well-being,
也改了当初的决定，开始和吉儿偷情 and I'd begun an affair with Jill, something I'd been determined not to do,
一头扎进这突如其来的变动 and yet was carried along on the sudden momentum
全然享受生活的喜悦 of the sheerjoy of living.
当初对自我存在的执着想法 The thought that I had once been indifferent to existence
似乎已荒谬可笑 seemed preposterous.
近来可好？好久不见你了 How is everything? I haven't seen you.
是啊，好得很呢，一切都有条不紊了 Yeah, really good, you know. Everything's just been fallin' into place.
- 啊 - 你看上去还是那么棒 - Huh. - You look great, as always.
下周我可能有些空，如果你想...你懂的 I may have some free time next week, if you wanna, you know...
啊哈 Uh-huh.
还是说我侵占你去另一头谈情说爱的时间了？ Or am I encroaching on your other love life?
嘿，饶了我吧 Hey, give me a break.
埃布！ Abe!
嘿，我试过打你电话 Hey, I tried to call you.
你知道发生什么了吗？看报纸了没？ Did you see what happened? Did you see the papers?
没，怎么了？ No, what?
嗨 斯潘格勒法官是被谋杀的 Hi. Judge Spangler was murdered.
- 你在说什么？ - 是谋杀 - What are you talking about? - He was murdered.
我不明白，不是心脏病吗？ I don't understand. Wasn't it a heart attack?
是心脏病没错，但验尸表明 Yeah, it was a heart attack, but they did an autopsy,
不是自然发作，是毒药所致 and it wasn't cardiac arrest, it was poison.
- 毒药？ - 对，是毒药 - Poison? - Yeah. It was poison.
有人给他果汁里下毒 Somebody poisoned his juice.
- 开什么玩笑 - 是啊 - You've got to be kidding. - I know.
那么，为何要验尸？ Well, what made them do an autopsy?
从来都要验尸的吧？ Well, don't they always do an autopsy?
我想是他们怀疑不是自然发作 I think that they suspected that it wasn't a heart attack right away,
而是有人下毒，所以才要验尸的吧 and they just thought it was poison and so they did the autopsy.
斯潘格勒法官是谁？ Who's Judge Spangler?
- 这个法官... - 这个法官 - He's a judge... - This judge.
是我们吃饭时偷听别人说话知道的 That we had overheard someone talking about in a diner.
- 这故事有点疯狂... - 是吗？ - This crazy story that some... - Oh, yeah?
我现在没时间听什么疯狂故事，但回头...再找你 I don't have time for a crazy story right now, but I will see you soon.
- 好的 - 我是说，难以置信吧 - Okay. - I mean, can you believe that?
- 是啊 - 可怕吧 - No. - Isn't it awful?
你看啊，他肯定树敌不少 You know, he must've had a lot of enemies.
天呐，那肯定，但我们竟还庆祝来着 Well, God, I'm sure, but we were celebrating.
我懂，但知道吗，我还是不觉得抱歉 I know, but you know, I still can't say I'm sorry.
那你觉得是谁杀的？是那女人吗？ Well, who do you think it was? Do you think it was the woman?
- 不知道啊... - 还是她朋友还是谁？ - I don't know... - Or, one of her friends or something?
那么，警方怎么说的？ Well, what, what did the police say?
我是埃布·卢卡斯，我杀了人 I'm Abe Lucas and I've murdered.
我经历过很多，如今又多了独特的一个 I've had many experiences and now a unique one.
我夺了他人性命 I've taken a human life.
不是在战争中也不是正当防卫 Not in battle or self-defense,
但我做出了我相信的选择并坚持到底 but I made a choice I believed in and I saw it through.
我觉得自己像个真实的人 I feel like an authentic human being.
今天我们来讨论存在之选择 Today we're gonna discuss existential choice.
即人生之意义是“选择”所创造的 That life has the meaning you choose to give it.
我们还将审视让-保罗·萨特的精彩洞悉： And we'll examine Jean-Paul Sartre's wonderful insight,
“他人即地狱” "Hell is other people."
埃布似乎有了重大突破 Abe seemed to have had a breakthrough.
不管他心底的情感是曾经被何压抑，现在都已彻底释放 It was as if whatever had been stifling his deepest feelings became unblocked.
对于托马斯·斯潘格勒法官 Police still have no clues
几周前在利皮特公园被毒杀一案 警方仍旧毫无头绪 in the murder of Judge Thomas Spangler, who was poisoned in Lippitt Park weeks ago.
在新闻发布会上 At a press conference,
调查者称，已跟踪所有可能线索 investigators told reporters all leads have been followed up,
但目前为止仍未能锁定犯罪嫌疑人 but so far there are no persons of interest.
并称，关于投毒目标并非斯潘格勒法官 They said that speculation that the poison had been intended
而是另为他人的说法 for someone other than Judge Spangler,
仅只是猜测，并不太可能 was just speculation and unlikely.
你换新香水了 You're wearing a new perfume.
我喜欢你能注意到这种事 I love that you notice those things.
我已变得很习惯于享受世俗生活之快乐 I've become very attuned to the sensual joys of life.
良辰美景，天籁之音，美味佳肴 Sights and sounds, the taste of food and wine.
怎么了？ What?
你在想什么？ What are you thinking?
今天曾有个可笑的念头一闪而过 Today for one very funny moment,
我在想如果是你杀了斯潘格勒法官该有多讽刺 I thought it would be ironic if you had killed Judge Spangler.
啊哈，我是怎么完成这一小小奇迹的呢？ Uh-huh, and how did I perform that little miracle?
我不知道 I don't know, I don't know.
我是说你不可能也不会这么做 I mean, you couldn't and you wouldn't.
- 杀掉一个人肯定很难 - 嗯 - It's got to be hard to kill somebody. - Mmm.
尤其是毒死一个陌生人 Especially to poison a stranger.
若是我不得不除掉某人，我想我会... Yeah, I mean, if I had to eliminate someone, I think I'd...
不清楚,也许枪杀或开车撞死 I don't know, use a gun or run him over.
我是说，氰化物完全是另一回事 I mean, cyanide's a whole other deal.
是氰化物吗？报纸上没说啊 Was it cyanide? The papers didn't say that.
我总是假设被毒杀的人是氰化物所致 I always assume anyone poisoned, is poisoned by cyanide.
真有趣，我总是假设会是砒霜 Oh, that's funny. I always assume arsenic for some reason.
- 是吗？ - 是的 - Yeah? - Yeah.
来自老电影或什么的 肯定是认识他的人干的 Old movies or something. It had to be someone that knew him.
你想啊，得足够接近他才能 I mean, someone would have to be close enough to him
在他咖啡里下毒 to drop poison in his coffee.
噢好像是果汁 Or I guess it was juice, wasn't it?
我享受这整个对话 I enjoyed the whole conversation.
如同是坐在牌桌前 It was like sitting at a tense poker table,
手握一把葫芦却故作天真地闲聊... holding a full house, and chatting innocently...
自信于掌握胜负手 Confident I had the winning hand,
却又怕被同花顺或四条大过 but getting a thrill out of the chance I could be beaten with a straight flush
而惴惴不安 or four of a kind.
我今天和罗伊大吵一架 I had a big argument with Roy today.
真不想听到这消息 I don't like to hear that.
我和他说我愿坦诚相告 I told him that I wanted to be honest with him.
我仍对他有感觉 And, that I still had real feelings for him.
但同时也对你有感觉 But I also have feelings for you.
我必须承认，认识你第一天起你就如此与众不同 I must say, you were special from that very first day.
你真是幸运 You are very lucky.
我是很幸运 I am very lucky.
嗯 Mmm.
那么，你想谈什么？ So, what do you wanna talk about?
嗯... Um...
听着，我不会再见你了 Look, I'm not gonna see you anymore.
我无法应对这种情况 I can't operate under these conditions.
你对埃布·卢卡斯移情别恋，我可不会在一旁空等 I'm not just gonna wait around while you play out your affair with Abe Lucas.
是的，我明白，对你也不公平 Yeah, I understand. That's not fair to you.
是，我该向前看了，过去的事就让它过去 Yeah, I'm just gonna move on. Whatever happens, happens.
- 你在和别人交往吗？ - 没有 - Are you seeing somebody else? - No.
但显然你是，我不再耗下去了 But, obviously, you are, so, I'm not gonna hold on from trying.
确实对你不公平 That wouldn't be fair.
真可惜，我们本来挺好的 It's too bad. We had a good thing goin'.
嘿，都是我的错，罗伊 Hey, it's my fault, Roy.
我真是还未做好准备去一心一意 I'm just really not ready to commit to one person.
嗯 Yeah.
晚餐真是可口 Dinner was delicious.
这派可是... And this pie...
- 感谢你们能让我来 - 我们很乐意 - It's so nice of you to have me over. - Well, we're happy to.
尤其是吉儿总是对你赞许有加 Particularly since Jill always speaks so highly of you.
你俩有在关注斯潘格勒法官那案子吗？ Have you two been following the Judge Spangler murder?
何止关注？我俩和他可是有层特殊关系 Have we? We have a special attachment to Judge Spangler.
因为偶然听到一些人在谈论他 'Cause we overheard some people talking about him,
说他是个多烂的法官 and what a rotten judge he was,
而且我俩倒支持他该得个冠心病或被轧死才好 and we kind of rooted for him to have a coronary or get run over.
我和莎莉·凯丽一直去那公园慢跑 I've jogged in that park with Sally Kelly.
知道吗，当我听说这案子时，我认为是 You know, when I first heard about it, I thought someone poisoned him
在早餐里下的毒，等到了公园才发作 at breakfast, and it kicked in when he was in the park.
但当看到是因饮料里的氰化物 But, you know, when I read it was cyanide in his drink,
我这理论不攻自破 my theory unraveled.
看来你是对的埃布，就是氰化物 You know, you were right, Abe. It was cyanide.
- 嗯嗯 - 你很早就说过，是吧？ - Mmm-hmm. - You said that very early on, didn't you?
他们说就是那玩意 That's what they said it was.
就像之前说的，我总会猜是氰化物 Yeah, well, like I said, I always think cyanide.
这是老套路了，因为快捷又致命 Cyanide's the cliché because it's so quick and fatal.
砒霜见效需要时间还痛苦无比 Arsenic takes time and is very painful.
除草剂没一样儿能快速致命 None of the herbicides are quick and dispositive.
对毒药我可一窍不通 I don't know anything about poisons.
我也是，随便读到的而已 I don't, either, just what I read.
谁会想杀掉法官呢？ Who'd wanna kill a judge?
人人都想啊，那些他否决过的人 Only everybody, every person he ever ruled against.
但我想警方调查过所有认识他的人 But I think they looked into everybody that knew him.
包括咱俩偷听的那位女士 但嫌疑全被排除了 Including that woman that we heard, and they were all ruled out.
这就是为何人们以为或许是恶作剧 That's why they think it might be a sick prank,
或者投毒目标另为他人 or intended for someone else.
但那毒药是快速见效 But it was quick-acting poison,
所以只能就是在公园里放入杯中 so they would have to drop it in the cup right there in the park.
- 是啊，有道理 - 嗯嗯 - Well, that makes sense. - Mmm-hmm.
但绝不容易办到 But not an easy thing to do,
一个陌生人，光天化日大庭广众的 with a total stranger, in broad daylight, in a public place.
除非是他认识且信任的人 Unless he was there with someone he knew, and trusted.
- 朋友之类的 - 周末... - A friend. - A weekend. A weekend.
周末清晨，那儿不会很多人的 A weekend early in the morning, not a lot of people around.
只能是他认识的人 Had to be someone he knew.
但我想警方肯定询问了所有他认识的人 But I think they questioned everyone that knew him.
- 说是杯和往常一样的橙汁？ - 没错 - They said it was a regular orange juice? - Mmm-hmm.
他每周末慢跑完 And he bought an orange juice there every weekend
都要在那买橙汁看报纸 and he'd read the paper after jogging.
那么，如果这是他往常规律 Well, then if it was routine,
随便谁都能过去，往杯里投毒 somebody could've come around and just dropped the poison in his cup.
- 随便谁... - 知道吗，除非就他自己 - Someone... - You know, he wouldn't be on a park bench
否则不会坐去长椅上读报纸 reading the newspaper, unless he was alone.
这就排除掉了朋友 That rules out a friend.
谁说非是个男的？没准是个女的呢 How do we know it was a man? Maybe it was a woman.
噢，这说法有道理 Oh, that's a good point.
也许他转过身去了 Maybe he turned his back.
然后某人突然出现，往饮料里投毒？ Someone appears out of the blue, and drops something in his drink?
那种外带果汁不是有盖儿吗？ Well, aren't those take-out juices covered with a straw?
或者某人去帕斯卡买了杯相同饮料 Or someone could have gone to Pascal's and gotten a juice,
下了毒，掉了包？ and put the poison in it and switched it with the judge's.
嗯 Hmm.
我确信警方考虑过所有可能了 I'm sure the police have run through every theory.
那好，假设法官拿着橙汁坐在公园里 Okay, let's say the judge is sitting in the park with his orange juice,
某人过来，拿着杯一模一样但下了毒的... and, and along comes someone with an exact matching cup full of poison...
- 是谁过来？ - 然后... - Who comes along? - And...
- 那么... - 有人想杀法官 - Well... - Someone who wants to kill the judge.
无论是谁 Whoever it was,
得设法让他扭头足够长时间 would have to get the judge to look away long enough
以便掉包 to make the switch.
- 我是说，这风险可不小... - 但这么想... - I mean, they'd be taking a huge risk... - But think...
可以就坐到他身边 They would sit down next to the judge,
都不必认识他，坐到那去就行 and the guy doesn't even have to know him, he just is sitting there,
法官在喝果汁，是吧 and the judge is drinking his juice, you know,
放在了旁边，那人就... and he sets it down next to him, and this person is just...
法官打开报纸，转个身，挡住的时间足够... The judge opens up his paper, and he turns and he's covered up for just long enough.
如果那人不认识法官 Well, if he didn't know the judge,
为何要费那么多麻烦杀了他？ why would he wanna go to all that trouble to kill him?
是啊，还得摸清法官的规律，那么些细节 Yeah, he'd have to be familiar with the judge's routine, the details.
但那不费事啊 But that would be easy.
跟踪法官一个礼拜就能... You could just stalk the judge for a week and you would...
我是说，那听上去就是他周六早间仪式嘛 I mean, it sounds like this was his Saturday morning ritual.
我喜欢这说法 I like it.
吉儿说得有道理，一切都考虑得周全 What Jill says makes sense. It's a well-thought out concept.
法官读报纸，挡住他视线，快速掉包 The judge reads the paper, blocks his eye line, a quick switch.
要是和人同坐一张长椅 You know, if someone sits next to you on a bench,
常会转过身去的 you often turn away.
我确定警方早就想过这些了 I'm sure the police are way ahead of us on all this.
嗯 Mmm.
斯潘格勒谋杀案成为了人们津津乐道的话题 The murder of Spangler remained a hot tabloid issue.
埃布经常提起此事 Abe often talked about it
说如今这法官死掉了，对那位女士是多好的事 and what a blessing it was for that woman, now that the judge was gone.
我一直都没特别在意此事，直到有一天 I didn't give any special thought to it, until one day,
碰到我的一个朋友艾丽·唐纳 when I ran into Ellie Tanner, a friend,
我俩有时候会去一起骑马 that I sometimes went horseback riding with.
不，没事的 No, no, it's fine.
- 好吧 - 他只是... - Okay. - He just, um...
- 我们进行了长谈 - 是 - Basically, we had this long conversation. - Right.
他说他觉得我这么对他不公平 And he said that he felt like I wasn't being fair to him.
他说得对，的确，但我不知道该怎么办 And he was right. I wasn't. But I didn't know what to do anymore.
你会很喜欢埃布的，他特别有意思 You would love Abe. He is so interesting.
你知道丽塔·理查兹吧？ You know Rita Richards?
知道，你是要告诉我她和埃布有一腿吧？ Oh, yes, are you gonna tell me that she had an affair with him?
毕竟学校里哪个老师没和丽塔·理查兹上过床啊 Because who on the faculty has not slept with Rita Richards?
关于埃布·卢卡斯，她有个说法特有意思 No, she has this hilarious theory about Abe Lucas.
天呐，她又来了 Oh, God, here we go.
她觉得埃布是那个法官被害案的嫌疑人 She thinks he would be a good suspect in that case of the murdered judge.
就是报纸成天登的那个 You know, the guy who's all over the papers?
拜托 Oh, please.
- 她开玩笑的吧 - 算是半开玩笑吧 - She's kidding. - I mean, she's half-kidding.
拜托 Oh, come on.
她是怎么得出这匪夷所思的结论的？ How did she come to that bizarre conclusion?
我都记不清了，是她老公办了一次烧烤聚餐 I don't even remember. We were at her husband's barbecue.
她就开始大声嚷嚷说 And she starts yelling about
埃布说过这个法官该死 how Abe had argued that the judge deserved to die.
还说了什么... And then something about...
犯下一桩完美犯罪的美学 I don't know, the aesthetics of committing a perfect crime.
- 随便吧，她疯了 - 她是疯了！ - Whatever, she's crazy. - Oh, she's crazy!
疯掉了 She's nuts.
嘿，我们该一起再去骑马的 Hey, we should go horseback riding again, soon.
- 噢好啊 - 很好玩 - Oh, yeah, sure. - That was fun.
当然，我并不认为丽塔·理查兹说的 Naturally, I didn't believe there was any substance
所谓理论有任何实质意义，但出于某些原因我挺困扰 to Rita Richards' so-called theory, and yet, for some reason, it bothered me.
给，我给你写了两首诗 Here, two poems I wrote for you.
- 不会吧 - 正是 - You didn't. - I did.
- 噢天呐 - 不，现在别看 - Oh, my God. - No, don't read them now.
我太不好意思了 I'm too embarrassed.
不喜欢的话就扔了，如果感动到了，就是你的了 If you hate them, throw 'em away. If they move you, they're yours.
你真好 That's very sweet.
嘿，出了什么事吗？ Hey, is something wrong?
- 没 - 没有吗？ - No. - No?
你好像有点走神 You seem a tiny bit off.
不，我只是很感动 No, I'm just moved.
即使还没看呢 Without even reading them,
你写诗这举动我就很感动了 I'm just moved by the gesture of you writing these.
啊，聪明学生 Aw, clever student.
你确定自己没事？ Are you sure you're okay?
我只是看着你 I'm just looking at you.
对我来说荒谬的是 It seemed absurd to me
自己竟会对埃布产生哪怕一丁点的怀疑 that I could entertain even the slightest doubt about Abe.
一礼拜后 And then a week later,
我有了亲自向丽塔·理查兹讨教的机会 I got a chance to hear Rita Richards' theory firsthand.
我在本地的酒吧碰到她 I ran into her in a local bar
她一个人坐着喝酒 where she had been sitting alone and drinking,
有点喝高了，话有点多 and was a little drunk and talkative.
- 嗨 - 你好吗，波拉德小姐 - Hi. - How are you, Miss Pollard?
- 我很好 - 嗨，金，你好吗 - Great. - Hi, Kim. How's it goin'?
我能之后再找你吗？ Uh, can I catch up to you?
- 你好 - 我刚才正琢磨你呢 - Hello. - I was just thinking about you.
其实我刚才也正琢磨你呢 I was just thinking about you too, actually.
- 是吗？ - 是啊 - You were? - Yes.
- 你好吗？ - 挺好 - How are you? - I'm fine.
我挺好，我之前碰到了艾丽·唐纳 I'm good. I ran into Ellie Tanner actually.
她说你对埃布有个说法啊 And she said that you had a theory about Abe.
噢是啊，那属于疯人理论 Oh! Oh, yeah, well, it's what's called a crackpot theory.
但也不是毫无根据 But it's not totally off the wall.
我很喜欢疯人理论 Well, I love a crackpot theory.
- 那你保证不会告诉别人？ - 我保证 - Yeah, you promise you won't tell? - You have my word.
想听听看？坐下吧 You wanna hear it? Sit down.
你有一直跟看报纸的报道吧，关于那个被毒杀的法官？ You've been following that judge who got poisoned in the papers?
斯潘格勒？斯潘格勒法官 - Spangler? Judge Spangler. - Spangler.
- 对，斯潘格勒 - 是 - Spangler, right. - Yes.
警方不知道是谁干的 Well, they don't know who did it.
我的理论是... 是我们哲学系的埃布·卢卡斯干的 My theory is, uh... Abe Lucas of our philosophy department.
我们共同喜欢的对象啊 Our mutual crush.
这... 这想法很奇妙啊 Well, you... That's, that's very, very intriguing.
听上去很疯狂吧，但其实也不是 Well, it's crazy, but it's not, you know?
你为什么觉得是埃布？ Well, why do you think Abe?
- 有一两次吧，我一个人的时候... - 请来一杯白葡萄酒 - Well, once or twice, when I was alone... - Could I have a white wine, please?
这么说吧，在激情过后的亲密时刻里 Let's just say in, like, a moment of post-passionate intimacy...
- 不，这个我懂... - 我们会聊天 - No, I understand... - We'd talk, yeah.
- 你不用太绘声绘色... - 我们俩都说 - You don't have to get too graphic... - And we both said that
我们在人生中经历了很多事 we had experienced many things in life.
但有一件事他从没经历过 But one thing that he had never experienced,
却很想知道那会是什么感觉，就是杀人 but wondered was what it would be like to actually kill.
- 杀人？ - 是啊 - To kill? - Yes.
听上去是典型的埃布式胡说八道 Well, that sounds like random, silly, Abe talk.
你也知道他多喝几杯之后会变成啥样 I mean, you know how he gets when he's had a few.
- 是啊，是啊 - 特夸张 - Mmm-hmm, mmm-hmm. - He's dramatic.
我本来也是这么想的 Oh, that's exactly what I thought, too, you know?
只是埃布在胡说八道 It's just Abe being Abe.
但我老公，在那个法官被杀的当天早上 But then my husband saw him leaving the campus,
见到他一大早离开学校 very early the morning that the judge was poisoned.
是特别大早，得有六点半 Like very early, like 6:30.
你有见过埃布早上六点半起床么？ I mean, have you ever known Abe to get up at 6:30?
他上课都很难准时到 He barely makes it to class on time.
那么你的理论是，他早上六点半起了床 Okay, then your theory is that he gets up at 6:30,
去了利皮特公园，跑到个陌生人面前 and he goes to Lippitt Park, and he goes up to a total stranger,
把毒药下到这人的果汁里 and he drops poison in the juice of a total stranger.
他根本都不认识这个法官啊 I mean, he didn't even know the judge.
他根本无法靠近啊，就算他认识那个法官，他也不会... He couldn't get that close, and then, if he knew the judge, he wouldn't...
他不会这么做的，他很激进，但并没发疯 I mean, he just wouldn't do it. He's radical, but he's not nuts.
我来告诉你最后一点珍贵资料 Let me give you the final tidbit.
几个礼拜前，我丢了实验室的钥匙 A few weeks ago, I lost my lab key.
我是从不丢东西的人，但那钥匙从我包里不翼而飞了 Now I never lose anything, but that key was missing from my bag,
它能打开所有实验室所有的门 and it opens all the doors to all the lab rooms
里面有各种危险的化学试剂和毒药 that have all those dangerous chemicals and poisons.
好吧... All right, well...
你的确把自己的理论捋清楚了嘛 You sure have really got that theory down, don't you?
- 我也说了... - 我会想想的 - Like I said... - I'll think about it.
我会弄明白的 I'll weigh it out.
丽塔这大胆的理论毫无疑问让我起了忧心 There was no question I was rattled by Rita's outrageous theory.
我知道埃布非常恼火于那法官 I knew Abe had had a very angry reaction
对那位可怜女士的不公正待遇 to the judge's unfair treatment of that poor woman.
而且他周六一大早六点半出门干什么去了？ And what was he doing out at 6:30 on a Saturday morning?
我思绪混乱，心神不宁 My thoughts were very mixed-up and troubled.
更多毁灭性的认知也将纷至沓来 And more devastating revelations were to come.
但那一刻，我心里是完全否认的 But for the moment, I lapsed into complete denial,
告诉自己这想法太荒谬了，根本禁不住推敲 and told myself this was too absurd to even contemplate.
我不能迷失于自己过度的想象力之中 I must not get carried away with my overactive imagination.
但乌云已经遮蔽了明月 And yet, a dark cloud had crossed the Moon.
- 嘿 - 埃布 - Hey. - Abe.
你在想什么呢？ What's on your mind? What are you thinkin'?
没什么 Nothing.
我刚才在想，自己以前会来这边慢跑 I was actually, I was thinking that I used to come here and jog.
如果你愿意，我可以陪你慢跑，我很想重塑体形 You know, I'll jog with you if you want. I'd love to get back into shape.
不用，还得很早起床才行 No, you'd have to get up very early.
我通常早上跑步，而你是夜猫子 I run early and you're a night person.
所以我去年开始就不跑了 Yeah, well, that's why I quit last year.
当时也没打算要活更久，但现在... That and no will to extend my life, but now...
丽塔·理查兹的老公告诉我说他看见你 Rita Richards' husband actually told me that he saw you leaving the campus
在某周六早晨六点半离开校园 really early, at like 6:30 or something, on a Saturday morning.
- 六点半？ - 是啊 - 6:30? - Yeah.
噢是啊，斯潘格勒法官死掉的那个早上 Oh, yeah, that was the morning Judge Spangler died.
我去普罗维登斯做核磁共振检查了 Yeah, I had to go to Providence for an MRI.
- 是吗？ - 嗯 - Oh, really? - Mmm-hmm.
- 你没提过啊 - 我不想吓到别人 - You didn't say anything. - Well, I didn't want to alarm anyone.
是良性的，但医生想让我检查一下 It was a little benign thing, but the doctor wanted me to check it out.
他觉得没什么问题 He didn't think it was anything horrible.
- 我很高兴你没事 - 是啊 - I'm glad it was nothing. - Yeah.
- 嗯 - 别担心 - Mmm. - Don't worry.
- 我安心了 - 嗯 - I'm relieved. - Mmm.
想要集中精力在学习上是很难的 It was hard for me to keep my mind on school work.
我的焦虑日渐增加 I had this growing sense of anxiety.
并发觉自己一直有过分夸大的倾向 And realizing I always had a tendency to overdramatize,
所以试着不去过度想象 I tried to keep my fantasies in check.
但仍旧，回家路上我路过埃布家 And still, walking home, I passed Abe's house,
心想他整个下午都要上课 and knowing he would be busy teaching all afternoon,
于是实在忍不住要做件疯狂事 I couldn't resist doing a crazy thing.
在埃布家的时候，我感觉自己在背叛他 Once I was inside Abe's house, I felt I was betraying him.
很有负罪感，觉得自己很蠢 And I felt guilty and stupid.
我没法想象自己到底想找到什么 I couldn't imagine what I expected to find.
然而，在他桌上放着本《罪与罚》 And yet on his desk was a copy of Crime and Punishment,
旁注里写了斯潘格勒法官的名字 with margin notes that had Judge Spangler's name
还有引用汉娜·阿伦特的话 （“平庸之恶”，出自《耶路撒冷的艾希曼》一书） and a quote of Hannah Arendt's.
你开玩笑吗？ Oh, are you kidding?
吉儿！ Jill!
- 嘿！ - 噢，嗨 - Hey! - Oh, hi.
噢你真漂亮，我喜欢你今天的发式 Oh, you look so pretty. I love your hair today.
谢谢 Oh, God, thank you.
- 我头发乱糟糟的 - 才不 - It's a mess. - Nuh-uh.
你的论文怎样了？ Um, how's your paper coming?
挺好的，真要谢谢埃布·卢卡斯，我在化学实验室碰到了他 Good, actually, thanks to Abe Lucas. I ran into him in the chem lab,
他给了我一大堆人名，让我去阅读 and he gave me this whole list of people to read
好理解那些让我疑惑的东西，所以... to understand those confusing points that I was talking about, so...
- 他去过化学实验室？ - 是啊 - He was in the chem lab? - Yeah.
他在下班时间过去的，我真的吓到他了，感觉很糟糕 He was there after hours. I really startled him. I felt so bad.
他下班时间在实验室做什么？ What was he doing in the lab after hours?
我不知道，好像是给本书做研究 I don't know. I think he's researching on a book,
好像是他写的东西 or something that he's writing about,
毒药，化学，之类的吧 like, poison or chemistry, or one of those things, so...
但实验室里，所有的毒药都是锁起来的吧 But in the lab, all that poison and toxic stuff is locked away.
是啊，但他有钥匙 Yeah, but he had a key.
嘿，你怎么行为这么古怪？ Hey, why are you actin' so strangely? Huh?
有什么要紧事吗，我们聊聊 What's so important we gotta go over it...
是你杀了斯潘格勒 You killed Spangler.
- 什么？ - 对吧？ - What? - Didn't you?
- 你说什么呢？ - 是吧？ - What are you talking about? - Didn't you?
你从化学实验室拿了氰化物，到公园里放进了他的果汁里 You got cyanide from the chem lab, and you slipped it into his juice in the park.
你那天去了利皮特公园，没去核磁共振 You went to Lippitt Park, you didn't get an MRI.
- 听听你说的话啊，吉儿，是我啊 - 是这样吗？ - Listen to yourself. Jill, it's me. - Is that true?
- 别... - 你疯了吗？ - Don't... - Are you nuts?
别跟我兜圈子，埃布！我看见你的书了 Don't tap dance with me, Abe! I saw in your book.
我看见你写的了，“斯潘格勒，平庸之恶” I saw that you wrote, "Spangler, the banality of evil."
你肯定决意认为他是该死的 You must've decided that he deserved to die.
所以你就偷了丽塔的钥匙，艾珀尔看见你了 And so you stole Rita's keys, and April saw you.
- 听我说，过来 - 不 - Hey, listen, come here. - No.
过来吧 Come here.
我做了个决定，要帮助那位女士 I made the choice to help that woman.
那天晚上，你说的是对的 You had it right the other night.
我一直都觉得你是超级聪明的 I always said you had a first-rate intelligence.
在公园里？长椅上？ In the park? On the bench?
用报纸做掩护... 天呐，我就觉得是这样！ The covering up, the... Jesus, I felt that, Abe! I felt that!
我总是教你要相信自己的直觉 I always taught you to trust your instincts.
并非所有事都能由理智掌控 Not everything can be grasped by the intellect.
如果感觉是对的，那么通常就是对的 If it feels right, it often is.
这就是我一直追寻的有意义的行动 This was the meaningful act I was searching for.
你不能就自己这么决定去取他人性命啊 You can't just take it upon yourself to take someone's life.
我认为这件事非常合理 Well, I thought it was a very reasonable thing to do.
她还希望他得癌症呢！ She hoped he'd get cancer!
但希望算什么？希望算个屁 But what the hell is hoping? Hoping is bullshit.
你看，你必须采取行动 You see, you have to act.
你不能认为自己做的事是合乎道德的吧 You can't believe it was moral, what you did.
- 你觉得那合乎道德？ - 当然了 - You don't think that it was moral? - Of course I do.
我觉得我是个道德的人，过着合乎道德的生活 I consider myself a moral man who's lived a moral life,
碰到了这样一位女士，遭遇不公正对待 who came to the aid of a woman suffering a great injustice.
- 那，你会去坐牢吗？ - 不会，警察不会怀疑我 - So, what, are you gonna go to prison? - No, the police are not thinking of me.
你余生都要在监狱里度过了？ You gonna go to prison for the rest of your life?
他们永远不会怀疑我的，我谁都不认识，没有作案动机 And they never will, because I'm a total stranger to everybody, with no motive.
多了一桩悬案而已 This will be just another unsolved crime.
你知道丽塔·理查兹有个理论吗，说是你做的 Do you know that Rita Richards has a theory that you did it?
我知道，她告诉我了，我们都笑死了 Yes, I know, she told me. We had a big laugh over it.
你怎么做得出啊，埃布？ How could you do it, Abe?
这个世界没了这个烂法官是不是变得更好了？ Is the world a better place without this rotten judge?
- 我的天呐，埃布！ - 我问你呢 - Oh, my God, Jesus, Abe! - No, I ask you.
- 这个世界没了斯潘格勒法官... - 不，这... - Is the world a better place... - No, this is...
- 是不是变得更好了？ - 我崩溃了，埃布！ - Without Judge Spangler? - I am so crushed, Abe!
完全不明白了 I'm completely lost.
我该怎么办？ What do I do?
你什么意思？什么怎么办？ What do you mean? Meaning what?
我是说，我这么在乎你，但我... Meaning that I care about you so much and I can't...
我不能再见你了 I can't go on seeing you anymore.
噢 Oh...
你在想揭发我吗？ Are you thinking of turning me in?
是，我是在想揭发你，当然了 Yes, I'm thinking of turning you in. Of course I am.
- 吉儿... - 但我不能这么做 - Jill... - But I can't do that.
我做不到 I can't bring myself to do it.
你，你... 这... You, you... This is...
这件事太疯狂了，埃布！ This is crazy, Abe!
我请求你把每天的各种假设抛到一边 I'm asking you to put our everyday assumptions aside,
相信你的人生经验 and trust your experience of life.
为了真正看清这个世界 In order to really see the world,
我们必须打破对它熟悉的看法 we must break with our familiar acceptance of it.
决定做此事的那一瞬间，我的整个世界都变了 The second I decided to take this action, my world changed.
你也见到了 You saw it.
我突然找到了活着的意义 I suddenly found a reason to live.
我可以做爱了，我可以对你有感觉了 I could make love, I could experience feelings for you,
因为帮助这位女士给了我生命的意义 because to do this deed for this woman gave my life meaning.
你得走了，埃布 You have to leave, Abe.
你走吧，我不能再见你了 You gotta go. I can't see you ever again.
我什么都不会说的 I won't say anything.
但我... But I...
我信你认为自己做了合乎道德的事 I believe that you think you did something morally worthwhile.
- 确实是啊！ - 我是这么想的，但... - I did! - I do believe that. No, but I...
- 但你不能找借口啊！ - 嘘！ - But you can't, you can't justify it! - Shh!
你不能用这些扯淡的理由来找借口 You can't justify it with all this bullshit.
这些扯淡的东西，什么法国战后的合理化 With all this bullshit, French postwar rationalizing.
有什么关系吗，这是谋杀啊 This doesn't... This is murder.
这可是谋杀 This is murder.
开了头便一发不可收，埃布 It opens the door to more murder, Abe.
好吧，好吧... Okay, okay, okay, okay...
我的智力不够反驳你的观点 I don't have the intellect to refute these arguments.
我没法跟你争 I can't argue with you.
但你也教过我，要跟随自己的直觉 But you taught me to go with my instinct,
我不需要多做考虑，我感觉大事不妙 and I don't have to think about this. I feel that this is no good.
这是谋杀 This is murder.
今天不错 Good job today.
接下来几周是我人生最难熬的一段 The next few weeks were the hardest of my life.
我爱埃布并真心相信 I loved Abe and truly believed
他只想做件英雄壮举却误入歧途 his misguided intention was to do a heroic thing.
我脑海中反复以他的角度去争辩 I argued his position in my head over and over.
有时便会妥协，觉得他是真正有自己想法的人 And at times I weakened and felt he was an original thinker,
不能以中产阶级教条去评判 who couldn't be judged by middle-class rules.
你最近看上去情绪低落，和埃布出什么事了？ You seem so down lately. Did something happen with Abe?
他就要离开学校了 He's leaving the school.
我猜这样也好 I guess it's just as well.
你接受的了吗？ How are you taking it?
不太能 Not great.
我肯定罗伊听说这事得高兴坏了 I'm sure Roy will be thrilled to hear that.
知道嘛，可笑的是 You know, it's so funny.
我曾觉得罗伊虽然人是挺好 I used to think of Roy as wonderful,
但和埃布一比实在平庸 but just very uninspired, compared to Abe.
现在我又开始觉得 And now I'm starting to think that
我自始至终就更适合和罗伊在一起 I've really been more suited for Roy all along.
我猜自己并不如想象中那般有棱角 I guess I'm not as cutting edge as I imagined myself.
是真的吗？ Is it true?
我听说埃布要走了 I heard that Abe is moving on.
是的 Yes.
- 是真的 - 我会想念他的 - Yeah, that's true. - I'm going to miss him.
我猜他发现略显乏味的布莱林不适合他那不羁的性情 I guess he found Braylin a little tame for his restless temperament.
他想着搬去欧洲 He's thinking of moving to Europe.
能告诉你件事吗？ Can I tell you something?
当然 Sure.
但愿是西班牙，带我一起去 I wish he'd go to Spain and take me with him.
哦 Hmm.
他说对于他是利皮特公园案凶手... You know, he said that you two had a pretty big laugh
...的说法，你俩曾大笑不止 over your theory that he was the Lippitt Park killer.
我俩当时确实笑死了 We did have a good laugh over it.
不过，如果到最后发现真是他干的 And yet, if it turned out to be that he did it,
我是会吃惊，但绝不是震惊 you know, I'd be surprised, but not stunned.
不会错愕不已 Not flabbergasted.
仍旧要跟着他去西班牙 I'd still let him take me to Spain.
我上完了在布莱林的最后几周课 I played out my last few weeks at Braylin
做了去欧洲教书的计划 and made plans to go off to Europe to teach.
我仍觉自己的行为合乎情理 I still felt justified in what I'd done.
感觉这份经历比以前参加过的所有 I felt that I'd experienced something unique and deeper,
抗议或慈善工作都更独特和深刻 from all my social protests or charity work.
我挽救了个家庭，谁都没伤害，除了个罪有应得的... I'd helped a family and hurt no one, but he who deserved it.
凭手中权力去伤害别人的人 A man who took advantage of his power to hurt others.
我知道吉儿永远不会背叛我 I knew Jill would never betray me.
但局面再度有了新的扭转 But then things took on a new twist.
看，我的理论是对的，可惜这辈子是当不上FBI了 Well, there goes my theory. I guess I'll never work for the FBI.
报纸怎么说的？ What does it say?
“警方确信抓到了 "Police are certain they have the person"
毒害托马斯·斯潘格勒法官的真凶 "who poisoned Judge Thomas Spangler,"
这名家庭法法官于利皮特公园中被谋杀 "the family court judge who was murdered in Lippitt Park."
被指称的凶手：医学实验室工作人员阿尔伯特·波德斯塔 "The alleged killer, Albert Podesta, a medical laboratory worker,"
有机会获取这起毒杀案中所用种类的氰化物 "had access to the same kind of cyanide that was used in the murder."
波德斯塔本人虽否认与本案有任何干系 "Podesta, who denies he had anything to do with it,"
却已被证实于两年前 "had testified before Spangler two years ago,"
因不满斯潘格勒法官对其兄的判决而勃然大怒 "and had been enraged with the judge for his ruling in a case against his brother."
如若定罪，波德斯塔将面临终身监禁” "If convicted, Podesta faces life imprisonment."
这事你打算怎么办？ What do you plan to do about this?
我不知道 I don't know.
你不知道？ You don't know?
你肯定不会任由个无辜者代你受罚吧，埃布 Oh, surely, you're not gonna let an innocent man take the rap for you, Abe.
我听说后就一直辗转反侧 I've been up and back over this since I heard the news.
“辗转反侧”？你什么意思？ "Up and back"? What does that mean?
意思就是我试着完成一桩完美谋杀 It means that I tried to bring off the perfect crime,
而显然我做得过于成功了 and apparently, I succeeded all too well.
那么你那套关于道德制高点的说法呢？ Okay, well, what about all your talk about moral high ground?
听着，我需要认真想想，好吗？ Look, I need to think this out, all right?
还有什么好想的？ What is there to think about?
那无辜的人一辈子就要毁了 An innocent man is about to have his life ruined.
好吧，那我去自首 Okay, I'll give myself up.
这就是你想要的？ Is that what you want?
难道这不是你想要的？ Isn't that what you want?
整天都在这说来、说去、说来、说去 什么“为所应为”啊 I mean, all this talk, talk, talk, about doing the right thing,
“仁义道德”啊... and what's best, and...
好吧，如果警方意识不到犯了错 Okay, if they don't see that they're making a mistake
过段时间还不来抓我，那我就... and let him go in a few days, then I'll just...
我就他妈的去自首成了吧！ I'll fuckin', I'll turn myself in!
我都没脸去...去面对我自己 I haven't been able to live with myself as it is!
这可是... And this is a...
这可是个完全无辜的人面临着要被起诉 We're talking about an innocent man that's gonna be prosecuted for this!
我知道，我也同意！就先等等看我的运气何时到头 I know, I agree! Let me just see if my luck holds out,
等等看警方何时能醒悟自己抓错了人，好吗？ and they come to realize that they made a mistake, you know?
因为...看看我现在！ Because I mean... Look at me!
- 我他妈现在做不到！ - 我知道，我理解，我懂了... - I'm not gonna fuckin' make it! - I know, I understand. I get...
可你周一之前必须要做，埃布 You have to do it by Monday, though, Abe.
周一之前必须自首，不然我就去做 You got to do it by Monday, or else I'm gonna have to do it.
- 我就不得不去告发你 - 别这样 - I'm gonna have to do it. - You stop that.
- 你什么事都不用做，好吗？ - 埃布... - You don't have to do anything, all right? - Abe...
容我等到周一，求你了？ Just give me till Monday, please?
看着我，拜托？就宽限到周一？ Look at me, please? Just give me till Monday?
好吗？我保证 Okay? I promise.
- 周一一早必须去 - 好的，好的 - First thing in the morning on Monday. - Okay, okay.
你必须这么做埃布，否则我就去做，我会去的 You have to do it, Abe, or I will do it. I will do it.
你什么事都不用做，我保证 You don't have to do anything, I promise.
该死的，埃布 God damn it, Abe.
不过我才不会把自己供出去 But I had no intention of giving myself up.
我的人生几个月前还毫无意义 A few months ago, my life meant nothing to me.
从中感受不到丝毫享受与愉悦 I got no enjoyment out of it, no pleasure.
能被那次俄罗斯轮盘赌终结掉我倒痛快些 I'd have been fine if that little game of Russian Roulette ended it.
但自从我计划并实施了对斯潘格勒法官的处决 But since I planned and executed the elimination of Judge Spangler,
我的人生豁然开朗 my life had taken a new turn.
我明白了人们为何热爱生命 I understood why people loved life
并将其视为充满喜悦的体验 and saw it as something joyous to experience.
我的确从生活中得到了快乐 I did get pleasure out of living.
我不再想寻短见或在监狱里度过余生 I didn't want to commit suicide, or spend my remaining days behind bars.
我想要去生活，教书，写作，旅行，做爱 I wanted to live, to teach, to write, to travel, to make love.
那晚我去和丽塔上床 That night, I went to bed with Rita,
甚至动了带她一起去欧洲的念头 and even entertained the thought of takin' her with me to Europe.
我随时可以离开保罗 I would leave Paul in a minute.
你是认真的吗？关于欧洲，是说真的？ Are you serious? About Europe, really?
如果是真的呢？ What if I was?
我不敢相信，这... I couldn't believe it. That's, um...
简直梦想成真 It would be a dream.
去罗马或西班牙重新开始... And start over in Rome or Spain or...
或者伦敦？ London?
警方已有了嫌犯 The police had their suspect.
丽塔·理查兹并未当真去怀疑过我 Rita Richards, who was never really serious about suspecting me,
会觉得凶手另有其人且她那疯人理论确实只是疯话 would see it was another man and that her crackpot theory was crackpot.
让别人背黑锅的不道德感确实很困扰我 The morality of letting someone take the rap troubled me greatly,
但与强大的求生本能一比便苍白无力 but paled against the hardwiring of my natural will to survive.
带丽塔去欧洲的计划开始变得令人兴奋 Europe with Rita was beginning to have an exciting ring to it.
她对爱欲的热情感染了我 Her passion for love and lust was contagious.
只剩唯一的障碍挡在面前 Only one thing stood in the way.
离吉儿坚持让我去自首的最后期限只剩几天 I had a few days before Jill would insist I clear the wrongfully accused man.
有什么办法能堵上她的嘴？ Was there a way to keep her from talking?
她说谋杀会一发不可收，也许的确是对的 I guess she was right when she said that one murder opens the door to more.
吉儿，我仍然在乎着你 Jill, I never stopped caring about you.
之前没理清思绪的是你 It was you who wasn't sure how you felt.
我真是蠢极了，罗伊 I was so stupid, Roy.
真是蠢透了，我... I was so stupid, I'm...
若你说永远不愿见我，我真心会说自己罪有应得 If you say you never want to see me again, I'll honestly say, I deserve it.
但发生什么了让你改了主意？ But what happened to make you change your mind?
我不想谈埃布的事 I don't want to talk about Abe.
我不可能弄懂这个人 I'll never understand him.
没事，反正我从来都不想谈这个人 That's fine. I never wanted to talk about him the whole time, anyway.
天呐，你多善解人意啊 God, you're too understanding.
你该发我的火才对 You should be angrier with me.
吉儿，我是如此爱你，只是... Jill, I'm so in love with you, but I just...
感觉有些事你在瞒着我 I just feel like there's something that you're keeping from me.
我周一会告诉你的 I'll tell you on Monday.
好的 Okay.
- 好吗？ - 好的 - All right? - Okay.
周一你就什么都清楚了，我保证 On Monday, you'll know everything, I promise.
好的 Okay.
我从不相信咱俩真会分手 I never believed we'd actually break up.
我很遗憾，但是时候了 I'm sad to say, but the time has come.
我们得谈谈下一步 And we need to talk about arrangements.
对我而言是一大步 This is a big step for me.
你自始至终都知道我想去国外生活 You've known all along I've wanted to live abroad.
是的，但... Yes, yes, but...
- 我希望你重新考虑 - 别这样 - I want you to reconsider. - Please.
- 拜托 - 不 - Please. - No.
只谈分手之后的事情，好吗？ Let's just talk about the details, okay?
必须把她的死伪装成意外 Her death would have to look like an accident.
快速考虑了所有可能性之后，我有了主意 And I ran through all the ones she might have and it hit me.
大学时开电梯的经验终于有了用武之地 My brief time running an elevator during my college days might now pay off.
时间紧迫常能逼出绝妙点子，真是有趣 Funny how often your best ideas come under pressure of a deadline.
完美的主意 It was perfect.
她周六要上钢琴课 Saturday was her piano lesson.
大部分办公室关门，楼内几乎无人走动 Most of the offices were closed. There was very little action in the building.
我没那能力去改动电梯程序 I couldn't make it look like the elevator had been tampered with,
但足以让它像是出了故障 but I knew enough how to make it seem broken.
嗨 Hi.
- 你在这里干吗？ - 嗨 - What are you doing here? - Hi.
- 嗨 - 我只是... - Hi. - I just...
在去自首前想和你谈谈 I wanted to talk to you before I go to the police.
好吧，如果是自首以外的其他可能 All right, if it's about anything other than turning yourself in,
- 我是不会谈的，明白吗？ - 不是别的... - I don't want to talk about it, all right? - No, no...
除了自首别无出路，我只是... I see no other way. I just...
想为我惹的一切麻烦道歉 I want to apologize for all the trouble I've caused.
我是说我...自己都不敢相信 I mean, I just... I can't believe this.
噢天呐，埃布 Oh, God. Oh, Abe.
噩梦一般，我明白 Oh, it's a nightmare, I know.
我看不出有别的路可走，除了去如实招来 I don't see any other way than just telling them the whole story.
招什么？是我谋杀了法官？ What? That I murdered a judge?
我懂，我会去帮你解释的 I know. I'm going to stand behind you.
- 我会的，作为朋友 - 没用的，你明白吗？ - I will, as a friend. - No, it won't matter, you know?
这可是蓄意谋杀 It's premeditated murder.
我没机会...会判我无期的 I mean, I don't... They'll put me away for life.
也许不会的，找个好律师的话 No, maybe they won't. Hey, maybe with a good lawyer.
- 说不准的 - 别逗了，怎么可能呢？ - We don't know. - Come on, who are we kidding?
我只是，我不能... You know, I just, I can't...
随着时间的流逝 With the passage of time,
历历在目的可怕经历 the awful vividness of what I had experienced,
造成的创伤正渐渐地、渐渐地消退 gradually, very gradually, grew less and less traumatic.
有个爱我支持我的男友带来不少帮助 It helped having a boyfriend who was so loving and supportive.
我偶尔会反思这段人生插曲 Every now and then, I reflected on the whole episode.
如后见之明，提供了我对爱情、人生 And with hindsight, gained some perspective about life and love,
以及自我的更多认识 and who I was.
我甚至经历了恐怖的一瞬 I even experienced, for one terrifying moment,
离死亡如此接近 the closeness of death.
整件事完全给我上了一课，惨痛的一课 The whole thing had been quite a lesson. A painful lesson.
正如埃布所说，是从课本里学不来的 The kind Abe used to say you can't get from any textbook.